While you were off watching X-Factor *snigger*, It came about that the Pompey game had to be replayed.. cos er.. um... well.. Just because.

And Pompey won!

Really!

Look at this!

I had a lovely conversation with Zvone this afternoon about what it takes to be an Angel, it started off as a joke but he was taking it all so seriously that I began to as well.

It started thanks to a Depeche Mode song called Breathe that he loves and listens to over and over again because it has beautiful lyrics.

He told me the singer was an angel.

I told him that he could sing about what he liked as he was being paid a lot of money to do so.

Which got us onto the subject of earning Angelship from God. You can either pay 25,000 pounds and be an angel that way, or earn the right to be an Angel by being angelic.

If anyone is interested, this is a rough guide to becoming an Angel for those of us who aren’t rolling in dosh.

Be peaceful
Help others
Flap your arms for half an hour every day
Don't hurt people
Use cream to make your skin glow
Wear white
Talk in a dreamy way
Write about love

Angels can drink although not to excess too often. Smoking is a no no for Angels, they might burn their halos. They can even indulge in the odd porn flick if they so desire.

Angels aren’t allowed to cause pain or suffering to others.

They are encouraged to not suffocate any happy feelings, as a happy angel is a good angel.

In time, God will recognise those who are practising good Angelship and be rewarded with angel wings and a halo.

I am happy to answer any questions you may have about following the road to becoming a winged being

After all, I am already an Angel

I know I haven’t blogged about the Sheva shirt in a while.. Bad me.

This pic was taken about 3 weeks ago. It’s in a Tesco bag in Jenni’s shed.

Actually, I should say it was in Jenni’s shed.

But it had to be moved.

Why? Oh it was only rotting a hole in the floor.

Look at the mould. And if you could smell it? Well.. yuck.

Jenni wanted me to bring it up to London with me, as that where it needs to be really for future plans, but, sensibly, I refused to carry it.

I didn’t want to be arrested for a suspected terrorist attack. It’s probably producing toxic gases!

So anyway, we have a few ideas..

Find out where Sheva lives and post it through his letterbox or leave it on his doorstep.

Post it to him. c/o Chelsea FC.

Pin it to the doors of Stamford Bridge.

Throw it at him as he arrives/leaves a match.

Kidnap him and tie him to a tree in Finsbury Park. Gag him with the shirt, or force him to wear it and leave him there for 24 hours, just to see what happens.

Shame we’d get arrested for most of those thing...

EDIT: Good timing...