My mum forced me to sip this honey and lemon crap.. It's AWFUL! It stinks of apple flavoured urine or something.. They should serve it to terrorists! It's vile!

I guess she can hear me coughing my guts up while she's trying to sleep. Very sure the guy next door can cos I was still awake way after 4am this morning and so was he, I could hear him talking. Probably plotting an evil way to shut me up permanently...!

After ditching the foul water, I decided to sip something nicer while Match of the Day was on. Vodka.

Oh and a bit of chocolate was nice too.

Robin van Persie's goal was absolutely.. wow.. and so was his little talking I'm a sucker for accents aren't I..

Saw a bit of Bastard too, and Freddie, and someone's bum. So, all in all, a good day of football

Today we went wandering around the Charity shops for a couple hours. We should’ve gone earlier as we arrived at Charity shop number 1 about the same time that football kicked off.

Jenni was at the Charlton-Arsenal game so I’d txt’d her beforehand to tell me when anything interesting happened.

“Ooh look! Freddie just ran onto the pitch” was the 14:35 message.

Ah she knows the kind of things I find interesting...

A couple of the charity shops were sensible enough to have their radio tuned into a football liking station so managed to discover that Villa and Chelsea drew. YES! Lots of Bastard viewing for me tonight! But most of the charity shops just had the local stations on so only got to hear 100 times that Saints scored in the 2nd minute.. Who cares...?

So I bought some Stephen King books as someone recommended I read them. I got one called Insomnia and another with a few short stories in called Everything's Eventual. I will start reading when I finish this silly romancey thing I’ve got at the moment..

I had a coughing fit in the British Heart Foundation. Oh I cannot wait for this cough to leave me alone. I was soo embarrassed. I ended up pretty much gasping for a drink. Luckily Woolies was just over the road.. aaahh..

Wouldn't surprise me if every customer fled for the door and the staff closed for a month to "disinfect the premises"

If i hear that George Advert one more time I will kick the telly.

Bloody annoying it is..

OK it's not, I just want to sing along everytime I see it. Which is too often..!

I'm 3 comments away from 2000!

YAY! ME!

So hmm.. Who will be the lucky person to help me reach my milestone?

Let's wait and see.

I suppose I've shot myself in the foot now, You're all going on comment strike!

It happens on eBay, my feedback was stuck on 999 for ages!!

I'm REALLY going out now.. bye..

OK we were meant to be going out at 10am. but it was raining so scaredy cat us stayed in.

Now, 4 hours later. we haven't done anything constructive (blogging isn't constructive??) and are only NOW going out.. despite the rain stopping about 3 hours and 45 minutes ago.

I could've been in bed all that time! zzzz...

I am feeling a lot better today, but I still hate getting up early on a Saturday. Especially when it turns out there's no need to.

Cough Cough Cough

It's keeping me awake at night. grrr.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Golda Meir to a visiting diplomat

Smell-O-Vision.

All I know about it is that it was a big thing for some charity show in the 90’s sometime. Probably Comic Relief.

Anyway, I am thinking “Smell-O-Web” should be invented somehow, by some really intelligent geeky genious.

And then, all the perfume and aftershave websites can have virtual smelliness so you know what all the scents smell like.

See, they’d make packets more money!

Oh, I suppose I should explain why I think this is a top idea..

There’s a lovely article from the Evening Standard magazine that Jenni swiped from a train carriage, bless her, entitled “Stalking Freddie - The Ultimate Guide”

OK, It’s actually called “My London”.

But it discusses all the places that Freddie goes to hang out/eat/visit etc etc..

And one of the questions was what aftershave he wears.

So, I need to know how this Issey Miyake stuff smells like without forking out 40quid for a bottle of it.

Going into a fragrance shop would just give me a giggle fit...

Oh well.. maybe if I go to one of these Asian restaurants he likes so much, He may show me

My mum was bored..

So, last night, for some strange reason, I suggested she start a blog here.

And she has.

Oh dear..

You know already that I’m really sad so you won’t be surprised about my latest eBay purchase.

I won’t tell you how much I bid on it to secure my win

I have 5 of these things now.. 5 different ones, I should add!

They are lined up along my firewire drive.

I’ve had to put Bastard at the opposite end that Freddie's on as I fear something like this could happen for the 3rd 4th time otherwise..

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Doug Larson

That’s how I feel. Very fatigued.. and sore throat has developed into a tickly cough. You know, the one that feels like you’ve swallowed a hair but deep down you know you haven’t really and the imaginary hair is taking up residence in your throat for the foreseeable future..

Did I mention the sneezing?

It hurts like hell to simultaneously sneeze and cough at the same time, as I discovered last night.

So join me for a glass of Benylin. Well I may as well.. It does say take 2 spoonfuls, 4 times a day.

It also says “May cause drowsiness.” Yes. Like I need to feel any more drowsy.

Time for bed says Cazza..

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Ed Gardner

.. Criticise your mother’s kitchen habits.

We are one of those families who don’t spend an age preparing meals, the quicker it cooks, the better! Tonight we had one of those pasta meals that take 5 minutes, you just add water. And these Micro Pizzas that are surprisingly nice.

So being the lazy daughter I am (who does actually try and be helpful), I propped myself up in the kitchen doorway and pretended that I was there to help.

Mum had already added the pasta to a pan of water, she’d placed the saucepan on the hob that the majority of ordinary people would reserve for frying. I pointed this out to her but she just said “Well it’ll cook faster, won’t it!”

Hmm, yes it will take 4:30 minutes instead of 5. great..

It didn’t look like it was bubbling. “Is that water boiled?” I ask, Yes apparently it was.

She hadn’t turned the heat down so whilst I was getting a glass of water, I noticed that our lovely mushroom pasta was about to mess the entire cooker top.

I then told her to turn the heat down and put a lid on it.

I got glared at.

A couple of days ago we’d had a disagreement over saucepans, My mum keeps having to throw them away because they’ve been burnt. I got the blame.

You can probably see why I don’t agree with this.

Onto the pizzas, The box says they take 3:30 minutes. “Is that all?” My mum said.. "They won’t be cooked in such a small amount of time. I’m going to cook them for longer.”

I told her that I’d made them before and wouldn’t it be better to cook them for the time stated and then see what they’re like?

No. I got told to go away..

Aargh.. I still got left to wash up though.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

Humphrey Bogart

And another season of Lost is over. What's one supposed to do on a Tuesday evening now??

Channel 4 weren’t nice enough to tell us when the next series will show this time around.

There’d better be one!

We’ll probably be waiting for another year.. as punishment for getting this series so soon after the first one.

But, just as you've got everything figured out, they go and twist it up just a little bit more. Gah! I hope when all the questions are finally answered that it won't be so confusing that one can't get their head around the concept of it all..

I’m not saying anything else cos I know I lot of people had to set their videos and I don’t want to be mean and spoil it.

But Desmond is very fit.

YAY!

I usually worry over European fixtures. But I wasn’t worried about this one. We played well, Porto didn’t really do anything. They passed the ball a lot but no scares came from their possession. WOO!

Oh and Freddie played, even if it was only for the last 15 minutes. My mum was in the room when he came on and I said “Look, It’s Freddie!” And she said “Freddie Kruger?” Why do I bother really..? I just said “Yes, Freddie Kruger..”.

The ref was stupid but most refs are (apart from me obviously..). Two great tackles made by Rosicky and the ref gave a free kick for the first one and booked him for the second! Grumble grumble.. He’s definitely working for PoK.

Was hoping they’d talk to Alex Hleb after the game, but no. Just Henry. But that was fun as he was only wearing a vest..

Now I’m just wondering what Jenni did to William Gallas last night? I hope he isn’t too badly hurt.

Oh it was 2:0 btw

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

I managed to drag myself around my sister’s tonight to see her new flat “Just for a couple of hours!” she said.

5 hours later I’ve crawled through the front door.

I’m pretty sad actually, My sister has a lovely cat called Ollie, but her landlord has told her that he doesn’t want animals there so we were going to look after him. Mum told her it was a lot of responsibility for us and she’d be worried if something happened to him, and my stupid sis translated that to mean we didn’t want him so has given him to her friend instead!!

I was really looking forward to having a cat, he’s such a sweet, lazy cute little thing. :’(

Of course, I got roped into helping my darling sister unpack loads of stuff. She has so much junk it’s unbelievable! And there was me almost relishing another evening curled up on someone’s sofa doing nothing. Hah!

We went through all her jewellery, clothes, shoes, junk, and managed to fill up 2 bin-liners for the charity shop and the dump.

So I didn’t get a cat, I did get a beanie frog and a quote of the day book which I will bore you with every day for the next year.

Now I feel exhausted but not tired, if that makes any sense at all...

Someone decided it would be really really fun to throw a party at my old primary school. I’m guessing here it was the members of the “Sheva was a friend of mine” club.

So why was it me who had to clean up all the mess..? And why did I feel it necessary to remove my shoes before getting stuck into rubbish removal?

Nobody knows.. I ditched that task after seeing a rat scurrying out from under a table. And I woke up suddenly when I went to put my shoes back on and my feet ploughed toes first into rat poo!!!

Next up was a proper “Sheva was a friend of mine” bonding session. There were quite a few people involved (about 50!). Apparently we’d all been taking it in turns to cook dinner for the rest of the group and it was currently my turn.

I’m not the best cook so was pretty pleased when Sheva himself came to the door and offered to take us all out for dinner! Maybe he hadn’t quite grasped the purpose of our little ficticious club?

I think we had pizza. And while we were out, He also offered to take us all to Alton Towers!

Sheva, hun. We don’t like you now. So don’t throw your dirty Chelsea money around! It’s not impressive!

We went to Alton Towers anyway, but dream me didn’t like the impending roller-coaster drop so thankfully I woke up.

Still have the sore throat, and it has now developed into a sort of cough. Joy. Thankfully the headache has gone. Although it was still there during the night when I kept waking up. Grr.

So I went to Jenni’s last night, I won’t see her now til her birthday probably and then it’s only if she does something nice and quiet. i.e. no clubbing.. please? I’m such a mean friend..

I was pretty crap company and spent most of the evening laid out on her sofa with my eyes closed. I declined dinner and just had a crumpet (and chocolate biscuits) and that was all I could stomach. Wish every day was that easy!

By 9pm I was ready to drop but the taxi service my mum was watching Jane Eyre and refused to come and get me til it had finished so I moaned and complained for the next hour.

Was tucked up in bed by half 10. aww

My blog holiday took an extended.. holiday this week. But I needed to spend time with my mum and I wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to be a jolly commenter anyway.

I tried to catch up with everyone’s blog yesterday but I really couldn’t be bothered to read the 200+ blog entries I missed so. Sorry! I had a quick skim though but probably missed a lot of stuff that was vitally important!

I’m being punished for it. Today I woke up with a horrid headache and a lovely sore throat. Thank you very much.

I’m guessing losing at Pro Evo 5 times in a row does mean things to one’s head.

So, hope you're all OK? I’m going over Jenni’s in a minute. Need to spread the germs around! It’ll probably be the last time I see her as she’s going back to Uni this week.

... But I should've made it bigger!

Was just about to leave an awfully long and dull comment on adamantixx’s blog about books. But figured, unlike books, a picture tells a thousand words.

There are a few missing.. and a lot of the girlie books are absent due to being finished, I don’t usually put them back on the shelf when I’m done with them unless they’re really good.

Jenni, I want my Robert Pires book back, and the Di Canio autobiography! You’ve had them for AAAAGES..!

Hello Georgios Samaras. I very much enjoyed our first date today.

This is how predictable I am. Was just watching Match of the Day and this beautiful man kept appearing on the screen. I SMS’d Jenni to let her know of this delicious being, while It was sending, I got a message from her saying “Are you watching Match of the Day? There’s this gorgeous bloke that you’d like!”

Aah! My list will soon increase..

We were listening to the radio this morning and changing the channels frequently when my mum said:

Songs ought to be like poetry! Nowadays songs that are written don’t have any meaning to them what so ever!

When l was young you could listen to a song and the words had meanings to them. You could jig around and be happy, you could sit and wallow or you could sing along. Now three lines repeated over and over again make a song, and if you are playing a song in a car, all you can hear is boom boom boom.

Oh and another thing… they don’t even play the instruments themselves… and half the time when you see them on the television they are miming! Don’t know how you can listen to the rubbish of today.

I just nodded and wandered back into my room to finish listening to Liverpool thrash Sp*rs!

And it's slow. She's on dialup!!

And her keyboard is weird.

And i can't read what i'm writing!

And her mouse doesn't have a wheel on it.

And she leaves disgusting tissues. used ones. where you want to put your elbow.

And now she's moaning about my punctuation so

...,,,...,,,

Apparently I complain too much.

What I should be doing: Listing some more clothes on eBay.
What I’m actually doing: Avoiding eBay at all costs.

I got me a Rubik’s cube from a charity shop yesterday and am finding this much more fun than making a few quid.

A magazine has also found itself fairly near the computer and reading that seems a much more interesting activity than figuring out how much it costs to post a pair of trousers now.

Plus, people keep Blogging and I feel obliged to read what they’ve written.

And I’m absolutely itching to go play Pro Evo but that will just eliminate any hope of me getting any eBay work done so.. Did I mention I’ve been promoted? I’m in division 3A now

What I should’ve done is eBay’d the weekend away and then today I could’ve done all these things without any feeling of guilt..

OK. No more blogging or fart-arsing about.. I might be able to get half a dozen things on before 10pm!

Then I can drool over Mr Sawyer for an hour.. Oh yeah...

This was doing the rounds over the weekend. I nicked it from Ros cos she's a notorious thief anyway!

One book that changed your life.
Topsy and Tim. I probably wouldn’t LIKE reading if it wasn’t for those

One book you've read more than once.
Harry Potter 1-5. Will read book 6 again soon as well.

One book you'd want on a desert island.
Wikipedia in printed form

One book that made you laugh.
All of Bill Bryson’s books make me chuckle. They also
educate me!

One book that made you cry.
I cried buckets when Dumbledore snuffed it

One book you wish you had written.
I tried writing a book once and gave up. So none. I just admire people who actually have the patience to sit down and do it.

One book you wish had never been written.
Forever by Judy Blume. Not because it’s a bad book, but it gave me a filthy mind at a very young age..!

One book you are currently reading.
Chris Manby – Deep Heat. I can only read one book at a time! And I keep forgetting about it!

One book you have been meaning to read.
About A Boy. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf for years.. Yet I never choose it.?

I hate going shopping for new specs.. To me, they all look the same when they’re perched on their display stands and I am totally lost over which ones to pick, but it’s that time of my life again so off I went yesterday to try on every pair of glasses in the shop and have a complete stranger tell me how much/little each pair suited me.

An hour later we’d narrowed it down to 3 pairs so, as my prescription is just god-awfully fussy and strong, I just let the clever staff tell me which would be most suitable.

I remember last time I had to buy new glasses, I could only choose from about 6 pairs in the entire shop!

It seems they’ve become a little more generous now.

But it comes at a price.

300quid according to the message I got on my answerphone this morning!

It’s proving an expensive week for Cazza, What with lending my sister all that money for her flat deposit.. Oh well.. she came over tonight and gave me these!

I’ve never been given flowers before..! OK, that’s not entirely true, Zvone once ordered me a rose for Valentine's day but it arrived pretty much dead.

Now my sister is asking for my TV (I’m not using it anyway), and I’ve asked her to straighten my hair.. I feel I’m getting the wrong end of these deals..

I’ve been suffering from Idontfeellikebloggingorreadingblogsorcommentingonblogs for the past couple of days. Dunno why.. Is it something that just strikes you without warning now and again?

Obviously I read a few last night and then just thought “aah... I don’t wanna do this..!” No offense

So, I’ve just spent about 2 hours reading 100 blog posts according to my RSS reader..

I’m all up to date.

I will never take a blog holiday again...!

YAY!

Queen Yawnfest.

You'd think I was holding a gun to the bored tagger's head and forcing them to read. Bless 'em.

On another note: I'm a bit behind on Blog reading.. I'll try to catch up tonight, but it's another really yawnfesty day today. I'm off to a car boot sale in a minute, and then will be hiding under a table in the pub later as I don't really want to watch ManUre. After that, I'll be hoping for a rainstorm in Parmaland as Milan will be there.

Zzzzz...

aha.. the Yawnfestation has a double meaning. How clever.

Today was like being 17 again, minus the purchase of 20 packets of premier league stickers.

Me and Jenni used to love going to Southampton to just look around sports shops and laugh at the football shirts they sold. Actually, most of the time was spent searching for a France shirt which were surprisingly hard to find in 1999..

We also love to spy out fans from different clubs, Although, as she can actually see more than 6 inches in front of her, I'm not very good at that game.

Today we went hunting for the Football Italia mag which thankfully took about 10 minutes. Haven’t bought it for a few years but it’s always a good read picture book!

We leafed through all the other magazines though. As they all had ZZ pics inside it seems. Not fun for everyone

Anyway, as we both love Football Italia so much, we are thinking about taking out a subscription to spare ourselves a trip to town every month. Especially as, thanks to the stupid bus company, the last bus to Southampton leaves my stop at 2pm.. yes. 2pm! No joke!

I’ve had a little to drink so apologies in advance if this post turns into a rambly mess but I’ve had such a fun day. I also notice I’ve already strayed off the subject matter anyway.

So, back to the magazine subscriptions. Apparently if you subscribe, you get a free World Cup winners Azzurri T shirt, but there is only 75 of them.

Obviously we were very surprised to see a man walking around John Lewis with said shirt on.

On closer inspection, it seems that what the magazine actually meant was that THEY had 75, but you could buy as many as you wanted for 20quid each.

That kind of spoiled our excitement of the day then.

Not to worry, Thierry Henry was spotted in Soccer Sports, as was Rafa. Lovely lovely double sided Puma adboard. We spent a few minutes deciding the best way to steal it but came to the conclusion that we’d be caught so moved along to the football shirt aisle, which is fun in that shop as it has LOADS!

Including last season’s Arsenal home shirt with Cesc on the back for 25quid.

Woo! I’m wearing it right now

I’ve decided what to have printed on my next Arsenal shirt, but it’s unprintable so..

Jenni wants a Portugal shirt so she can imagine Zizou wearing it.

I just told her to get a France shirt and get ZZZZZZ... written on the back but she won't.

JJB was next, A scary place to be as you have to be very very careful what you brush up against! In there was a little kid looking in the direction of Chelsea merchandise. “Where’s the Man Utd stuff” he asked the grown up with him.

“Behind you, you little shit!” Was my very quiet reply..

We left there pretty quickly.

The next REALLY STUPID shop only had Chelsea shirts in it. Why???? We left in disgust but not before giving one of the rags a well deserved kick on the way out.

Walking back through West Quay, We spotted... an Olof Mellberg clone.. A real one.. He was wearing an Arsenal Shirt.. Oh God.. Unfortunately, he was with a woman and pushing a buggy, probably like the REAL Bastard does, which made me wonder if maybe it was the real one and he was a secret Gooner

OK, perhaps not as he was preparing to play Watford in about an hour.

Still, it didn’t stop me following him all the way out of the shopping centre and all the way up the road with my tongue hanging out!

We went to the pub after that, to watch Watford vs Bastard Villa. I’m definitely going to complain to Sky, not enough close ups of he who has re-grown his beard. It was very depressing but I drowned my sorrows in brightly coloured bottled beverages and decided that at some point I was going to get a Swedish shirt with Bastard written on the back.

Mum and Blokey are no more. ...Again.

He won’t be telling his next girlfriend that she’s “letting herself go” that’s for sure.

I’m just waiting for the inevitable 4 hour phonecall and make up session now.

So, I'll think I'll just leave the house for a bit.

I’m surrounded by idiots! Yes, that is a bit harsh..

First my mum had her funny five minutes. And now my sister and my ex!

Today I went to the hospital with my sister as she had an appointment.

At least, she thought she did.

We got to the desk and the woman there told her that, in fact, her appointment was last Friday!

“But it says 15th September on my appointment letter!” My sister exclaimed!

She’d failed to notice that it was last year’s appointment and it was no longer 2005.

----------------

After the fun at the hospital - Sadly we didn’t run into Dr Kovac - We were due to look around a flat for my sister to rent as she has to move out of the house she shares with her friend soon. Luckily, it was a lovely place and she’s snapped it up. Except I’m the one who’s had to pay the deposit. Typical. It’s a good thing I don’t like spending money...

----------------

The other stupidity. Zvone. Here is a cut and paste of a conversation we had earlier today. You might like to take note that Zvone is very very up-to-date on family members and has met them all.

Cazza: I just had to give my sister 900 pounds
zvone: Why??
Cazza: cos she is moving
zvone: she is? Alone?
Cazza: yep
Cazza: well.. her and Ollie
zvone: Ollie is male or female?
Cazza: male
zvone: her boyfriend?
Cazza: um.. no.. Ollie is her cat!!

----------------

And now I have to phone Jenni to wake her up in time for her train stop.. another stupidity really.. Her phone does have an alarm function!

1. ( ) Smoked a cigarette.
2. ( ) Crashed a friend’s car.
3. ( ) Stolen a car.
4. (x) Been in love.
5. (x) Been dumped
6. (x) Shoplifted. (Not on purpose!)
7. ( ) Been fired/laid off.
8. ( ) Been in a fist fight.
9. (x) Snuck out of your parent’s house. (To go to Highbury HAHA!)
10. (x) Had feelings for someone that didn’t have them back
11. ( ) Been arrested
12. ( ) Gone on a blind date.
13. (x) Lied to a friend
14. ( ) Skipped school
15. ( ) Seen someone die
16. ( ) Been to Canada.
17. ( ) Been to Mexico.
18. (x) Been on a plane.
19. ( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
20. ( ) Eaten sushi
21. (x) Been skiing
22. (x) Met someone in person from the internet.
23. (x) Taken pain-killers
24. ( ) Love someone or miss someone right now.
25. (x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
26. ( ) Made a snow angel
27. (x) Had a tea party.
28. (x) Flown a kite.
29. (x) Built a sand castle.
30. (x) Gone puddle jumping
31. (x) Played dress up
32. (x) Cheated while playing a game
33. (x) Been lonely
34. (x) Fallen asleep at work/school.
35. ( ) Used a fake I.D
36. ( ) Watched a sunset.
37. ( ) Felt an earthquake.
38. ( ) Touched a snake
39. (x) Slept beneath the stars
40. (x) Been tickled.
41. (x) Been robbed.
42. (x) Been misunderstood
43. (x) Petted a reindeer/goat
44. ( ) Won a contest.
45. ( ) Ran a red light.
46. ( ) Been suspended from school.
47. (x) Been in a car accident
48. ( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (Surprisingly not)
49. (x) Had deja vu.
50. (x) Danced in the moonlight.
52. (x) Liked the way you looked
53. ( ) Witnessed a crime.
54. (x) Questioned your heart
55. ( ) Been obsessed with post it notes.
56. ( ) Squished barefoot through the mud
57. (x) Been lost.
58. (x) Been to the opposite side of the country.
59. (x) Swam in the ocean
60. ( ) Felt like dying.
61. (x) Cried yourself to sleep
62. ( ) Played cops and robbers.
63. ( ) Recently coloured with crayons
64. (x) Sung karaoke.
65. (x) Paid for a meal with only coins.
66. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
67. (x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose.
68. ( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
69. ( ) Danced in the rain
70. (x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
71. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
72. ( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
73. (x) Blown bubbles.
74. ( ) Made a bonfire on the beach.
75. (x) Crashed a party.
76. (x) Gone roller-skating
77. (x) Had a wish come true.
78. (x) Worn pearls
79. ( ) Jumped off a bridge. (If I had done, I wouldn’t be doing this!)
80. (x) Ate dog/cat food
81. (x) Told a complete stranger you loved them
82. ( ) Kissed a mirror.
83. (x) Sang in the shower. (Every day)
84. (x) Had a dream that you married someone.
85. ( ) Glued your hand to something.
86. ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole
87. ( ) Kissed a fish
88. ( ) Sat on a rooftop
89. (x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
90. ( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel. (Hah! Couldn’t even do a 2 handed cartwheel!)
91. (x) Talked on the phone (Skype) for more than six hours on one occasion.
92. (x) Stayed up all night. (Coursework deadlines were just.. evil!)
93. (x) Didn’t take a shower for a week.
94. ( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
95. (x) Climbed a tree that had a tree house.
96. (x) Been told by a complete stranger that you’re hot.
97. ( ) Ever had a one night stand.
98. (x) Ever missed someone so much it still hurts to think of them.
99. (x) Ever loved someone that you knew wouldn’t love you back.
100. (x) Ever been to a professional football, or tennis game in a stadium ground.
101. ( ) Went hiking in the mountains.
102. ( ) Smoked a cigar.
103. ( ) Had a crush on someone you worked with but never told them.
104. ( ) Wished you had the chance to change your profession.
105. ( ) Ever cremated and kept the ashes of a pet you cared a lot about
106. (x) Wished you could live your life over again beginning at age 21 (16).
107. (x) Been baptized?
108. ( ) Rode a horse (Just kicked by one)
109. ( ) Sent flowers to someone you never met

Is it true that if you go to watch Real Madrid, you have to go through all this bother?

First of all, there is a huge teacup ride around the entire stadium. Most of the teacups are full of 12 year old kids and us “adults” are squished up in the corner while the children jump about and shout. Especially when the pitch comes into view. God! They practically leap off their seats as we round that corner!

Then it’s time for tea. Unlike other stadiums which serve hot dogs and beer, the Bernabeu prefers a more.. “DIY” service. Expect to cook your own pasta and grate your own cheese. My experience with their food was pretty lousy.. I ended up hurling breadsticks at the staff..!

To actually watch the match, you have to subject yourself to the vegetable machine. You lay in this.. this.. thing! someone presses a button, and. BAM! You pop out as the veg of your choice. I chose a carrot.

God only knows how you get to your seat as a carrot. I woke up soon after.

... Except he got sent off instead! Oh how I wish I could’ve laughed but it wasn’t appropriate!

I’ve been to Winchester to watch this Zidane “film”. Basically, just a load of cameras focussed on Zidane during a match: Real Madrid vs Villarreal in April ‘05.

Zinedine Zidane: A 21st-Century Portrait is based on a gloriously simple and audacious idea. To train the camera on the great footballer over the course of a single match: 90 minutes, in real time. On the ball, and mostly off the ball: just Zidane. Gordon occasionally inserts TV coverage clips for context but otherwise the camera remains on Zidane and his face, as gaunt and impassive as an Easter Island statue, massively dignified in the deafening cauldron of noise. He runs; he frowns; he pants; he spits. He is always watchful. Occasionally, he bursts into action.

Guess why I went to see that?

I wasn’t dragged there kicking and screaming though. I was ever so slightly interested in it. It’s not like I need an excuse to watch a football match..!

Even if it’s a match from the weirdest of angles.

I’ve seen football on the TV, I’ve seen football from a stadium, and now, I’ve seen football from the point of view of.. Well.. Zidane.. except he can’t see himself obviously.

And, to be honest it wasn’t that bad! I wouldn’t recommend it to my mum. But it didn’t send me to sleep like I’d predicted on the way there.

I’m not going to go on about it, I’ll leave that to ViEiRA. But I will say that now I’ve watched this I can quite honestly say that she will never ever get me to fancy Zidane, she’s been trying her hardest but if watching that from start to finish isn’t going to do it. Nothing ever will!

So I’m safe.

We also discussed that it would be a fab idea to make a series of these things, instead of just a one off film. Next week they can do Gigi Buffon. I’d love to see a goalie just standing around for a bit and suddenly having to throw himself to the ground.

I won’t mention the Skittles we consumed.. But cinemas are appropriate places for junk consumption so it's all fine..!!

I should actually be listing my mother’s entire wardrobe on eBay right now.

But decided to have a little shop on there instead.

My latest purchase?

My mum says “Who is Freddie Lunganbery?”

She also said “Oh you’ll have to be careful not to lose your keys as they’ll be sent to him instead.”

Shame that I’d have to go and get them back off him then wouldn’t it..

I’ve been tagged “yawnfest” hmmph. It’s not true! It’s not! Is it??

We’re about to experience the delights of our shopping being delivered to our door. As the Doc told my mum to rest (yeah right. She doesn’t know what that means!) We’ve been on the Asda website doing our shopping. It’ll be delivered tomorrow and I ticked the allow substitutes box as I’m pretty interested to see what would one get if they can’t have exactly what one wants?

I want nice leeks Jenni! Thanks

I went to visit the old lady again last night, and ended up nearly falling down her concrete steps. Oops. Seems one of her steps is higher than all the others and.. well.. yes.. I have a lovely bruise on my arm now. I’m well annoyed as I’m so careful going up and down those things.. Glad we live on the ground floor!

The old lady definitely can’t hear what I’m saying.. I told her a few things that I thought she’d like to know (about the bus time changes and stuff you can buy in Tescos. Really interesting stuff ..) and a while later she told me the exact same things.. I was also telling her about mum’s holiday, and half way through she asked when my friend was going back to Uni? Hmm..

We had wise-men pie for dinner. It was meant to be Shepherd’s pie but.. It was a bit crap. Pretty pleased with my silly joke!

Tonight I’m going to Jenni’s.. we were going to try to find a pub that would show the Arsenal game, but no one is! So, teletext it is then. Please, Arsenal. Please please please win! Please!

Ah yes, before I forget. Mr Sawyer is “Man of The Day”. Did you hear that, Chicken Brain?

Aha. I understand the yawnfest tag now..

As promised (I know you’ve been almost dying to see these!) Here are some pics of my mum’s bits bites. She has 27 in all! Ouch ouch ouch!

They’re all over her feet.

And just to prove a point, They’ve bitten her back something chronic as well!

Viewed and approved by the powers that be. AKA Mother.

I was pretty bored earlier, no change there then. So, I stumbled across this mini interview from Marie Claire magazine about Freddie (obviously). Pardon my random red comments, "Normal" blogging will resume shortly.

What would you do if you weren't a footballer? 
A fighter pilot. It was my childhood dream. 
Like Top Gun? 
Yeah!

Any vices? 
Hmmm… 
Apart from the chocolate cake I've just seen you eat! 
Don't say that! I do love liquorice.
Ah you sugar addict!
What's your big indulgence? 
I love clothes and furniture, too. 

If your life was a film, who would be your leading lady?
I don't have a wife or a girlfriend, so it would be difficult to have a leading lady!
Um, Hello! What about ME??
OK then, who would play you? 
Johnny Depp or Russell Crowe. 

Now the big question: is scoring goals better than sex?
No! 
Is it true you're not allowed sex before a match? 
We are always in a hotel the night before, so it's probably true. I try not to. 
You try not to, or you try not to stick to the rule? 
No, I try not to have sex!
That’s a lie, and you know it!

And your grooming routine. Do you wax? 
No, I shave. 
I see you haven't shaved. Is that why we couldn't get your top off today? 
[Laughing.] Maybe. At Calvin Klein, they waxed me. Very painful. 
Awwwww poor Freddie...
 
Random fact: Freddie has the Grease soundtrack on his iPod.
I really wanted the Grease soundtrack when I was younger but could I find it anywhere? Nope.  Did eventually get ahold of it though.

Here is the mother of all funnies (pardon the pun) right from my mum’s own mouth.

Me and Jenni are going to go and watch this weird sounding Zidane film/documentary/whatever at some point. So, I casually just informed my mum that I may be going to the Cinema on Thursday.

“What are you going to see?” She asked.

“Some weird Zidane film, Jenni wants to see it.”

“Why do you want to see that?”

“Cos I’m curious to see what it’s all about?”

“Oh I wouldn’t want to see it. That man is terrible..”

OK, so he headbutted Materazzi in the World Cup final, I can think of people who’ve done more horrible things than that!

“Um,” I said. “What terrible things?”

“Well he killed all those Iraqis and stuff didn’t he.”

Ah yes.. I forgot about Zidane’s double life as Saddam....

Well my mum’s all back from her holiday. She had a lovely break in Corfu.

Except for the 40 million mozzie bites she has. In fact, she’s been at the doctors today moaning about them and he’s signed her off from work for the week.

I’ll post pictures of her feet when she gets them off Blokey.

Yes, she and Blokey are still in love. They didn’t fight on holiday. It’s amazing!

Although, here’s a funny story. She had to go to see the doctor while on holiday (still about the mosquito bites) and they didn’t have enough money on them to pay him, so, one of them needed to go and find a cash machine. Blokey offered to stay at the surgery while my mum, who was the injured ill soul here, had to go wandering about looking for the ATM!!

It’s so Blokey-like, It’s funny!

Other than that and the moaning about the hard bed, the unimpressive breakfast and god knows what else, He wasn’t too bad.

I guess he’s realised that my mum is too good to let go. Aww.

Guitarist blogged about this last night. And as I’m bored, I thought I’d do it too. I love stealing ideas.

One day, when I was at primary school, some of the teachers told us the things they were doing when John F Kennedy was assassinated. I was only 8 or 9 at the time and couldn’t really believe that they would remember stuff like that.

But it makes sense now. I can tell you what I was doing when the Word Trade Centre came tumbling down.

Me and my mum were staying in the flat above my uncle’s garage as we’d moved a couple of months earlier and our flat was being decorated. I was pretty bored as there wasn’t a lot to do in that flat. And we’d already been up there for nearly 2 weeks and I missed all my stuff.. i.e. the Internet There wasn’t even a stereo!

There was a cheap radio though and I left it on all the time. I was in the middle of making my lunch, a sandwich of some variety when the news that the first plane had hit was announced.

My daytime TV marathon was cancelled that day.. I didn’t really want to see all that devastation, I knew I’d have nightmares about it if I saw it all. So, I went outside and read a book instead.

In the evening, me and my friends all met at Jenni’s as we’d planned a party because most of us, me included were disappearing to university the following week.

We spent all evening in front of the TV. Great party it wasn’t

So I did have disturbing thoughts for quite a few days after all.. But as I’ve seen footage of it a lot since then, I guess I was living in a fantasy land thinking I could hide from it!

Yesterday was spent doing the things I should’ve done the day before.

I dusted, I hOOvered!!!, I cleaned the loo, I rinsed the bath around, and the sink. I put the washing on, I hung the washing out. I didn’t make any colours run. I did the dishes, I wiped down the worktops, I scrubbed the hob, sod the oven. I took out the rubbish, I went to the shop for milk, I bought a paper too.

Then my friend from training came around with her problematic laptop. Yes. It was very problematic.

It took about 10 minutes to boot...

It had about 200 spyware traces..

But she didn’t have Norton on it. Phew.

She had some rubbish called Panda instead.. which.. seems even worse...

Firstly, It needs about 10 startup programs and services.. 10?? It needs 10???

Then.. it appears to block a lot of stuff.. She asked me to delete her daughter’s login name.. and it wouldn’t let me.. I connected it wirelessly to my router to download some stuff.. and it blocked that as it was an “unknown network” or something. Did the same when It was wired to my router too so ended up having to disable it.. stupid trash. It has a nice name though. Pandas are cute.

I’ve told her to join the Avast fan club.

I also asked her if she’d ever defragged her hard disk. Apparently not. It might explain the slowness. I hope it explains the slowness. As I’ve disabled a lot of startup rubbish and cleaned up all the spyware and it still seems way too sluggish for my liking.

She gave me a nice bar of dairy milk as payment for helping her out. Grr. Now I’ll have to eat it!

I mean yay chocolate!

Anyway, while all that was going on, I couldn't be online listening to football commentary or anything and I was getting very frustrated. Usually I at least can put the radio on or SOMETHING! but I didn't want to be rude..

I purposefully missed Match of the Day cos I knew I wouldn't like what I saw. Stupid team! GAH!

I spent the evening playing Pro Evo with AJ.. and we played.. and played.. and played.. until 4am.

That’s my gossip. Sorry to disappoint you all I know you were hoping for a much more interesting reason for my late night.

If your mind is corrupted it means no one can read it.

Staying up til 4am that is. Although the company I had was lovely

My neighbour decided today would be a good day to put his usually silent stereo to good use. At 9am, Madonna came blaring through the walls, followed by Tight Fit(!) and then a load of (c)rap music.

And then a dog decided to start barking its head off from somewhere.

I tossed and turned for an hour or so, I even tried a solitary hammer on the wall with my fist, but nah, they didn't pity my predicament...

So I admitted defeat and went to make me some breakfast (boiled egg...) and took a shower.

Obviously the dog and the music had ceased when I emerged from there.

And it's been quiet ever since..

zzzz...

Grrr. I’ve just spent the evening doing nothing. I played lots of Pro Evo with AJ and chatted lots on MSN. AJ is better at this game than Guitarist. Damn damn damn!

I did have a plan for today:

Dust
Hoover
Clean the Bathroom
Do the dishes from last night
Update my CV to send to that woman I messed about on Wednesday.
Make sure the old lady opposite is OK
Wash my hair
Buy milk
Do some more washing
Watch Football Italia
Find some stuff that will help me fix my friend's virus infested PC

Did I get any of that done today? No, OK, I did make a half-arsed attempt at dusting and hovering. I also went to visit the old lady. I managed to stay for an hour while we talked about how Hospitals aren’t the same these days..

Oh and the Football Italia program was mmmm.. It was a summary of last season and all about the match-fixing and they talked with all the yummy people, Like Buffon, Gattuso, Cannavaro, Luca Toni. Paolo Maldini (Who was wet!) Oh and they threw in a bit of Luis Figo for fun. How come he is only cute when he isn't playing football? Don't worry Jenni, It's on again tomorrow, I'll video it!

But other than that. I have done nothing. And my mum will probably come home tomorrow cos her and Blokey would've almost certainly have had a falling out in Corfu. "What have you been doing all week!?! The flat is a tip!" Doh!

I had a really annoying dream last night about being at college and retaking A Level IT. Except, one day I went to class and found everyone sitting an exam that had almost finished. I didn’t know about the exam and screamed bloody murder at my teacher and had to be removed from the room. Obviously, I’d failed the course again but I was sent to a room with Robert Pires in it and we had a good moan about the lack of warning about the exam. Then Mellberg was there and he kept kissing me while doing a crossword puzzle. He kept saying he didn’t want to go to the party downstairs.

Weird weird weird...

I'm off now to wash my hair.. I know it's late but I hate doing that in the mornings.. Then i will read everyone's blogs.. and then bed for me.

Corinna1 suggested I do this. I can't come up with a concrete 10, but I have 7 and about 100 that could fit 8,9,10 depending on my mood so.. i'll just do the 7 for now.

7. Goran Visnjic – The reason I’m an E.R. addict and haven’t missed an episode since he became Dr Luka Kovac.. Aaah...

6. Rafael “Rafa” Nadal – Spanish tennis player who reached the Wimbledon men’s final this year but lost. A new man on my list that I can’t get enough of. Oh those arms...

5. Goran Ivanisevic – Another tennis player. Won Wimbledon in 2001. Retired now but oh gosh... you should hear his voice..!

4. Robert Pires – French footballer, Played for Arsenal but left over the summer. According to Patrick Vieira, He is the nicest man you’ll ever meet. It’s the hair that does it.. he was boring when it was short.

3. Gabriel “Batigol” Batistuta – Retired Argentine striker, I preferred him to everybody in the world abut 5-6 years ago. Has lovely hair and scored lots of goals..

2. Emmanuel “Manu” Petit – The reason I’m a football fan. Saw him playing for France in the Word Cup Final in ’98 and never looked back. Retired now though

1. Karl Fredrik “Freddie” Ljungberg – So um yes. He’s mine. Sweden/Arsenal player. Oh and he likes to model Calvin Klein undies too.

It’s really messed up now!

We couldn’t destroy it outside at my house cos the neighbours would’ve moaned, miserable sods. So instead, we put it in the sink.

This post may make you feel a little ill, apparently. Don't view it if you have a weak stomach, Have just eaten, Or are at all squeamish!!!!!

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Seems there are two slots on the Skybox.

And I put the viewing card back in the wrong one.

Of course, I didn’t find this out until I called Sky today.

Oh well, It probably gave them a giggle in their lunch break..!

I'm destroying everything here..

First of all, I wanted to see how much it costs to upgrade my Sky package to receive Sky Sports et al but it seems I have to register on the website to see that info so needed to get my viewing number from the card in the sky box.

Now the card is back in the Sky box but Sky box doesn't think it is and is having a fit.

grumble grumble

At dinnertime, I went to cook some pasta on the hob but the gas wouldn't light.. on any hob or grill or oven, nothing. So not wanting to blow myself up by being persistent, I had a microwave fish pie instead. Yuck.

That seems to have fixed itself now.

My computer won't boot tomorrow, I'm sure of it.
Or a light bulb will blow; Don't want to play that game!

Oh and Freddie missed a penalty.. Why was he taking them anyway?? Luckily some unimportant Swede put in the rebound but.. still.. My poor Freddie!

So I’ve had a pretty crap day today. Tomorrow I will do nothing to make up for it.

On a brighter note. Found this earlier, never seen it in my life! It'll be man of the day on Vecernji-List next Monday, followed by Mr Sawyer

Excuse me. I’m going to have a big, long, fat moan now.

Today I had a meeting with this woman from the Royal London Society for the Blind, about helping me find work and stuff. I was to meet her at 10am for about 30minutes. I was hoping to make a good impression on her by appearing really keen and assertive and all that jazz.

I planned on getting the 9:26am bus into town.

Did it show? Course not.

I waited until about 9:40 before giving up and going home to call her to tell her I’d be late. She’d come from London especially to see me so I knew she wasn’t going to be impressed.. I apologized about 6 million times and told her I’d be on the next bus into town. But it’ll probably be too late anyway... She had to go back to London at 10:45

Back at the bus-stop I noticed the new bloody bus times up. That explains everything then. Our buses have been pretty much unchaged for 4-5 years. So why fiddle now?? And why not put up huge signs everywhere to.. you know.. tell people??

1 bus an hour.. at 11 past the hour. Used to be 2 an hour..!

So, I got the 10:11 bus knowing it’ll be about 10:45 before I was there. Put my mp3 player on and went into the other reality for a bit.

When I came back, we were almost in town, Hang on a minute. I’d only been on the bus 15 minutes! What was going on? So, lucky for me, I was in town by 10:30. Still wasn’t good enough though. The woman I was meeting spied me along the road and we had a brief.. 90 second chat.

She’s going to call me tomorrow.

I wandered around the charity shops for a bit, Bought Simon the Sorcerer 1 and 2 for 50p each plus this weird thing called the “Interactive Internet Puzzle Adventure”. Looked interesting and it was cheap so.. Anyway, In another shop I saw this T Shirt with “Viking Laws” written on it which, thanks to Ros, Made me think of Mellberg. I wanted to actually read the laws on the shirt, but there was this woman on the other side of me, a member of staff, who chose that moment to fall over. I thought she’d hit her head on the clothing rail but she was still awake.. she said she’d just had a mini epileptic fit and would be ok in a a few minutes.. there was only a few of us there so we all hung around waiting to make sure she was OK. That was my drama for the day, Or so I thought.

Now comes the fun bit: Getting home

I went to the bus station, Looked at the timetabling electronic gizmo board. Oh great, it was out of order, Probably not the best time to break, just after you played fiddle with the buses.

So I picked up a timetable and asked the man when the next bus to where I live was and from what stand. “Oh it’s at 10 past, from stand C”

No it wasn’t.

The driver told me it was the next bus at that stand, that would leave about 5 minutes after his bus. So I waited, and waited some more.. no bus.. no one waiting for a bus.. so I just pretended to read my timetable for a bit. Which told the bus I wanted left at 45 past.

So, not trusting anybody who looked like they worked there, I wandered up and down seeing what numbers were being added to the buses.. Aha. At 12:40. my bus number (according to the timetable anyway,) came up and I once again asked the driver if this was my bus! Yes yes it was!

Except it was at stand E.

So I got home eventually.

Now, as I’m a bit crazy, I have a couple of crazy ideas.

Don’t break the electronic announcement boards the week you change bus numbers, routes, times etc etc. It confuses people. Don’t guess lie about what bus I need to get on and where it leaves from. It pisses me off and I get confused and cry lots. Oh and ADVERTISE YOUR STUPID CHANGES! Better yet.. DON’T CHANGE STUFF! It was fine as it was!

Although I do like the more direct journey..

Someone has replaced my sister with an alien being!

Normally, my sister is a video game hating, football hating, stressed out, can’t take a joke well girl.

So last night, when she came over, I was surprised to see her not just buying dinner but actually cooking it without demanding my help. Usually she would come through the door, head straight for the fridge to raid it then whine “what’s for dinner!?!?”

So we had these nifty bolognaise filled tortilla wraps and she stole my last choc ice (ah that’s more like the sister I know and love!) Then, while I was catching up on Lost, she asks me, “Oh, Can I play one of those puzzle games you play?” Oh my god!

I set her up with Syberia, which kept her entertained for at least 2 hours.. Damn! My PC won’t be mine when she’s here now.

I guess I pushed my luck when I asked her what she thought of Thierry Henry “S’alright, spose.” Strange..

When she got bored of that game, she went shopping on Play.com. with my account. Silly me for saving my passwords on here!

A giggle fit followed which also entailed a spit wiping contest and a lot of farting (her, not me!)

Please God! Give me back my real sister! I don’t like this one!

On Another Note: Just got a sms from my mum in Corfu. She didn't say she was having a nice time but at least she's alive, So it wasn't her spirit knocking everything off her window sill this morning then..!

From BBC News:

Aston Villa defender Olof Mellberg has been sent home from the Sweden squad ahead of their Euro 2008 qualifer qualifier with Liechtenstein after breaking a curfew.

Oopsy.. nothing to do with me that.. None. At. All.

He was in the company of Ibrahimovic (yawn) and Wilhelmsson (don’t really know him). See? No mention of Cartlionel!

It was his birthday on Monday and I forgot. That’s why.

Now he’s saying he won’t be playing for Sweden again while Lagerback is in charge.

For God’s sake.. Don’t be so selfish..! I want to see you play! I didn’t before, I know. I called you lots of horrible names. But I don’t mean them anymore! Grrr!

There’s also all these rumours flying about that Freddie hugged every Swedish player except Mellberg. Maybe He didn’t want a hug. That wouldn’t surprise me in the least based on their history of fighting

Anyway.. that’s enough reality morphing today...

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file on your PC.
2. Name it "work."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete work permanently?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?

PS. This is a post-date experiment! I'm still in bed really!

I set up the washing machine to rewash the damp smelly clothes again last night.. ready to hang out when I got up this morning.

I then settled down to finish my Still Life game, as I’m pretty sure I’m near the end. At this point where I have to get a robot across a room of deadly lasers. It’s very difficult.

So, what happens at about 12:30am? Ah yes.. I’m plunged into darkness. Wow, my PC makes the oddest noise when it’s suddenly deprived of power!

Yes, a power cut. For no good reason. Thanks electrical people!

So off I went to bed, after turning off lights and stuff that were on. There isn’t really a lot one can do without electricity at that time of night. (When they’re alone, anyway).

About an hour later, everything came back on. The phone in my room started beeping hysterically. My monitor flashed on (oops) my alarm clock started flashing 0:00. It was quite scary!

I went back to sleep... for about 2 hours.. and then the whole thing happened again.. grrrr

So I’d love to know if the washing machine did actually clean all the smelly washing.. I’ll never know.. I just put it on again when I got up.. for a 3rd time..!

Hoping the next load will be easier

And another boring weekend draws to a close..

What have I done? Absolutely sod all...

My mum’s in Corfu with Blokey. I wonder if they’re having a nice peaceful holiday.. doubt it.

So, I did some washing.. Yes really.. My first unsupervised attempt at using the washing machine. (This isn’t entirely true, I usually just call out to check I’ve set it up properly.) It was tipping down yesterday so couldn’t hang it out. Tumble Dryer has been unplugged for 6 months and didn’t know where to plug it in anyway.. so.. the washing is still wet. Woo! I knew that activity wouldn’t go smoothly!

I also attempted to cook myself a Sunday dinner. Except, I didn’t have any meat. So, instead I had one of those instant toad in the hole meals with instant roast potatoes and some veg. Ate that while watching the Brazil Argentina match, which wasn’t very exciting except we got to see our new Baptista. Argentina are so boring without Batigol!

I just beat Guitarist 3:0 at Pro Evo but the horrid man injured my Freddie! Other than that, it was fun. I’ve missed Pro Evo while he’s been away and I look forward to many wins to come

Oh, and thanks to AJ, I have spent too much time playing World Cup Italia 90 on a Mega Drive emulator. Where there is no referee, just a disembodied whistle, no fouls, no free kicks, probably no corners cos the goalie is like a piece of Velcro. No through passes, no sweet moves, no penalties, no offside(!) and it’s just ugly. I can’t believe I used to spend HOURS playing that game!

On a happier note, James Pond is wicked! I love killing that giant teddy bear!

Highlight of my weekend was watching some silly episode of South Park about Oprah’s neither regions, getting 600 free texts, and seeing Sawyer fight with Hurley on Lost..

This is my favourite tomato sauce ad.

Sorry, couldn't find it on youtube..

After what we did to the Sheva shirt, you can forgive me for going into hysterics for about 10 minutes when i came through my front door yesterday to find this staring up at me from the doormat!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with ketchup, Thierry.

What's the most mind-boggling English habit you've encountered?
Ketchup! Ketchup here, ketchup there, you put ketchup on everything! Don't you want to taste the food? [Laughs] I've got a friend here, and if you give him spaghetti bolognese he'll put ketchup on it. Give him spaghetti, he'll put ketchup on it. Any kind of food, and he'll put ketchup on it. I say to him "If you like it so much, drink it! Put a straw in the bottle, go for it!"

The other thing is gravy - all over the food, all over the plate until you can see nothing but gravy. I have a laugh with the guys in the team, I say: "Do you know what you're eating? Can you taste anything with all that ketchup or gravy everywhere?"

At Arsenal we have a masseur who is just extraordinary. He takes his plate, and fills it with a bit of everything. He puts everything on the same plate! He puts his starter on one side, then some mashed potato, some pasta, some rice. Then he slaps a bit of meat on top of it all and drowns it in sauce. I say to him "Put your starter on one plate and then get up and go and get another one for your main dish?" I mean, if it's a pre-match meal, OK, you might take a bit of pasta and a bit of rice on the same plate. Or if it's an English breakfast, then you have several things that go together. But when I see them with their plates with salads, pasta, meat, sauce all together, you just have to laugh."

Bless him... Wonder if he'd like to help us next time we douse something with Ketchup?

The Sheva shirt has been in the compost bin since last Saturday.

Jenni had fun trying to remove it during the week. And I quote from her blog:

“I did do something useful today. I went out to the compost bin, armed with my trusty pole, Graham, to get out the Sheva shirt and put it on the bird table. However, this didn't succeed, as there was a big, wriggly WORM dancing around on it! Graham got scared, so we left it for another day”

During the party, we tried again. Thankfully, the worm had gone so we were able to remove it with only a few cries of EWWW!

We went with Ros’s idea of covering it with ketchup. It was dark, and I wanted to write another word beginning with SH with it but surprisingly, it’s quite difficult to write words with a squirty bottle so I gave up.

We left it out on the lawn all night and of course, by the morning, we had a shirt that looked as if it’s owner had had a very nasty accident.

The shirt was thrown on the roof of Jenni’s birdtable again, and covered in birdseed.

Some lovely bird came along and decided to do it’s business on it.

Excellenty.

In the afternoon, we decided to cover it with more foodstuffs. We started off by drenching it with the leftover Tango that PoK had obviously been tampering with.

Then we added a few dollops of Mayonaise.

Then Jenni’s mum came home telling us to stop and exclaiming “I wondered why the tomato sauce bottle was almost empty!”

But she wasn’t angry, I’m the only person who drinks their tango and eats mayo in their house anyway. Bless them for buying me my own food

But she told me I had to take the shirt home with me. No thanks! So instead, we folded it over and stamped on it a bit.

Now it’s hidden behind a bush in Jenni’s garden.

The next party I go to I will wear jeans and a T-shirt.

Everyone else did.

Pah!

OK so the party was a small get-together for Becky, who is moving to Wales on Sunday. There was some of her friends (who I can’t remember the names of!) and me and Jenni. Gary decided not to go. Dunno why. I had heaps of games for him. (Copies. Tut tut)

I came armed with some girlie drinks, Doritos and Nostrils (sorry, Minstrels) and proceeded to drink 7 sugar laden bottles of WKD.

Did I get pissed? No.

One day, I’ll experience this Hangover thing that so many people seem to suffer from...

Anyway.. basically, all we did was sat around, ate crisps and drank lots while dissing Becky’s CD collection and listening to someone’s iPod or similar something.

Then we tried the intro game, i.e. guess what the current song is by the intro. I really need to listen to the charts more cos I didn’t know any

The karaoke discs came out at about 10ish and we had a good old sing-a-long to.. mmmm.. Bailamos (I can’t sing that low, Enrique!), Manic Monday and Greece. The latter, however, did not have any lyrics, just a “we’re sorry but permission for the use of these lyrics was denied” Hmm.. so why didn’t you just put another song on the CD instead then? Silly Karaoke CD makers

As I expected, there was no sign of Zidane at the party. However, Patrick Vieira turned up and I gave him loads of hugs which he seemed to like. Here’s a pic of him and Jenni doing a little pose.

My Doritos remained unopened.

Oh and I stayed over so their Dad could have a drink and not have to drive me home. Thoughtful aren’t I..

Bet you were hoping for something more juicy! Nah..

I was only away from blogland for 23.5 hours.. Yeah the party was that good!

On my return, I switched on my PC and discovered that while I was away, I missed almost 60 blog posts from you lot.

Hate to imagine what it would say if I went for a weeks holiday...

So, i'll be sat here til the early hours reading them all.. thanks everyone!

OK. there was another point to this entry..

It's September 1st, my calendar needed turning over.

mmmm...

I'll be back later with something more interesting to say.. and to read the 34 entries i didn't get around to reading yet..