OOH it’s party day! Actually it’s a little sad. The main reason for the party is that Becky and Karl are moving to the outback of Wales, probably never to be seen again. And Jenni will be going back to Uni in a couple weeks...

So I’ll be all alone and friendless

Boo!

I’m in the middle of making myself look beautiful presentable. Yes I know the party isn’t for another 4 hours, but, if I want a lift, I have to leave at 5!

It’s quite a difficult task. This getting ready to go out thing, First of all.. my hair. It’s being a bitch. Yesterday, it was nice enough, so why is it misbehaving today! It’s gone all big and frizzbally. Might run the straightners through it later.. and burn my hand and ear off.

It’s happened before!

Next, for the last week I’ve been really spotty. It’s not fair! Just as I started a diet and am feeling pretty healthy after my walking more than usual, I get punished.

Do bodies do this on purpose to spite you?

Well tough, you’ll be sorry Body! Planning to consume lots of alcohol and eat lots of crisps. So there!

So, while Winamp is playing some utter shite, I’m trying to find something to wear. Do I wear something glamorous? or go for the casual look?

Probably something in-between will be the best thing to do.

Apparently, Zidane will be at the party. I’m so looking forward to meeting him. *cough*

Freddie was invited too, but he’s been banned from being in my company after fighting with Olof Mellberg in my bedroom. They’ve both gone to Sweden anyway, for a bonding session. OK, actually they’ve gone to play football.. So I have an excuse for Freddie not being there.

So if you hear of yet another dressing room punch up or training ground scuffle. Blame me.

I wonder what excuse Zidane has..?

I’m also wondering if I should go buy some food and drink. Or a present even..

mmm... Buy 1 get 1 free Doritos...

Yes i'm bored. and as i've read EVERYONE'S blog tonight. I came across this and decided to give it a go.

1. What is the first thing people notice about you? "That girl likes her biscuits!"

2. Name 3 things you couldn't live without? food, music and a good book

3. If we gave you £500 to spend what would you blow it on? Computer upgrades, new graphics card, new mobo, new CPU.

4. Who makes you smile? My Blogfriends. aww.

5. What was your favourite childhood holiday? That one at Haven, where I sung!

6. Tell us about your best friend. Jenni Zidane? Oh OK, She's 24, like me, and loves Arsenal and political spaghetti. She has her own other reality which is very similar to mine but not quite as populated. She doesn't like worms. She has long brown curly hair and dark eyes and is very very very very strange...

7. Describe your most vivid memory? Vivid memory.. hmm the only one that springs to mind is on my 3rd or 4th birthday and I came downstairs for my presents and they were scattered over the dining room floor. I eagerly opened each present and when i was finished, my mum removed a sheet covering something at the back of the room. It was a shiny red bike with stabilizers and everything! I went towards it.. And trod on a bee or wasp.. I've never cried so much in my life!

8. What's on your internal Jukebox at the moment? I've been humming Stepping Out all day.. (Thanks EthelRed!!)

9. What headline would you most like to read about yourself? "Freddie Ljungberg Ties The Knot!" obviously, I'd be his Bride..

10. Describe your bedroom. It's got yellow walls and light brown carpet with pine cupboards with green panels. Lots of clutter but very tidy. Have a pic of me and Jenni with The League Trophy and FA Cup. and a Davor Suker print above it.

11. What leaves you tongue tied? When i've been caught out telling a fib! Or i'm brought into a spaghetti conversation!

12. What's the best lie you've ever told? I convinced Zvone once that I had a medical condition that means my poo disintergrates inside me so I don't need to expel it from my body.

13. What keeps you awake at night? Being too hot or too cold.

14. What's your nickname? Cazza or Cartlionel.

15. Who does your washing? Mummy...

16. What are your three essentials for a good night out? good friends, conversation, unloud but good music.

17. What's the strangest thing you've ever put in your mouth? Erm... I won't go there. I wanted to know what my bubble bath tasted like once!

18. Who would you like to be for the day and why? Good question. I'd like to be little again and be the Arsenal mascot. That would be cute..

19. Who was on your bedroom wall as a teenager? Peter Andre....!!! Later on, Emmanuel Petit.

20. Which famous people dead or alive would you like to be stuck in a lift with and why? The entire French squad from 1998. Yes, including Zidane! (We could gossip about Jenni!)

I’ve just made a throaty groan of “I’ve got nothing to Blog!”

So, my mum has just said “OOH! Tell them my 40 year old sewing machine has just broken!”

So.. there you go.

Serves me right for spending yet another day doing nothing in particular..

Actually, I did do something a bit constructive today, I applied for another job. This one is on reception with the Crown Prosecution Service. Sounds dull, but it’s a job. It pays money. That’s all I want for now.

Tomorrow I am going to a party! (Woohoo!) Finally.. something fun that involves me getting off my arse.

Me and my family drove to Zagreb last night, apparently it was a 45 minute drive away. I wish I knew that while I was still going out with Zvone, it would’ve solved a lot of problems!

Anyway.. Mum and my sister wanted to look at the boats. (?) and I was left to my own devices pretty much, so I sms-ed Zvone and we met up in his lunch break.

And kissed. Thanks. Stupid head. Luckily, I had the sense to back off and say "No!".

Then Mum and Jess came back and said we had to go home now as we didn’t want to get a parking ticket!

So, I was in Zagreb for 2 hours and was home in time for tea.

One day I’ll have a dream that actually makes a tiny bit of sense!

I took these little pictures from my window. Aww it's a woodpecker and it's baby. So cute.

I don't usually get to see stuff like this due to being a referee but if I zoom in close with my camera.. they usually fly off just as I catch a glimpse the unthoughtful little !

This is my 100th post. it only took.. just over 3 months.. not bad not bad..

So to celebrate, here are some gifts for some of my favourite people!

To Ros: Thanks for leaving me my first comment. I didn't forget those translations you asked for.

"That Zagreb twat pulled Freddie's shirt!" = "Taj zagrebacki kreten je povukao Fredijevu majicu!"

"You muppet, lino!" = "ti lutko, lino!"

Oh and here is a pic of Marat:

To AJ: You were my first official blogfriend. awww! Have some Keira Knightley.

To Mymah: Forget about CR17, he's not worth it. Have some Kaka and Cesc instead!

To TeaLover: Aww you're soo sweet and you like Sawyer. What more could I want?

To ViEiRA: Thanks for telling me about this loovely place oh and being my bestest friend ever

Mum and Blokey are going to Corfu on Friday.

I bet they have a whale of a time fighting like cats and dogs...

So, party at mine at the weekend!

(not really...)

I’ve been thinking of the 10 things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket and have got out this book I was given a few years ago for my birthday.. It’s called “101 things to do before you die”. I seem to have only done 1 or 2 things in it.. it’s quite cool as it allows you to tick things off and mark it so you can almost use the book to document the best parts of your life.

Not all the things are good though, i.e. It suggests you get arrested, run out of a restaurant without paying etc etc...

On the other hand though, some ideas are pretty good.

Write a best-seller
We’ve all tried this haven’t we? I tried to do a series a la Sweet Valley High when I was about 12. It sucked. I wrote 1 chapter...

Win an award, a trophy or a prize
I won an Ed-The-Duck advent calendar when I was little. It was a competition in Fast Forward magazine!

Throw a House Party while your parents are out
Sadly, I’ve always asked permission first! I was such a well behaved teenager!

Be part of a threesome
This is a common encounter in my other reality. *cough cough*

Ride the world’s biggest Rollercoasters
I didn’t fancy riding that big one at Blackpool, especially as it crashed the day after my Dad rode it. I’ve done Nemesis and Oblivion at Alton Towers and a few others.. But very sure there’s scarier ones. Bring ‘em on!

Own a pointless collection
I got my collector’s badge at Brownies for collecting badges. Now, I collect computer games. Well.. it seems like it considering I have about 150 of them!

Get backstage and get off with a Rock God
Does Enrique Iglesias qualify as a Rock God?

Go up in a hot air balloon
Something I’d love to do. I might even crash on the Lost island and meet Mr Sawyer

Sky Dive
No thanks

Stay in the best suite in a five star hotel
Aah. We were going to do this, me and my ex. Just for one night, stay in the poshest room in a Four Seasons hotel. We never did Boo!

Play a part in your favourite TV show
I could be a patient in E.R. and allow Dr Kovac to help me recover..

See (exotic creatures) in the wild
I’d love to see a Panda Bear, they’re my favourite..

Be friends with your Ex
Me and my ex are great friends so I’ve done this one wooo!

Complete a coast to coast trip across America
I’ll be doing this in the next 40 years with Ros

Take part in a police line-up
I was very tempted to do this when I was at Uni. It looked like easy money. But I forgot about it soon after the leaflet came through my door.

Make the front page of a national newspaper
Well, my sister was on the front page of the local paper last week.. not in the main headline but on those bits at the top. Why? She went to a party! I think it was a slow day for news..

Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary
Jenni and me were talking about this the other day, but I can’t remember the word we were talking about!

That’ll do for now! Here's the full list (just about readable!) if you want to share experiences.

My domain now points to here.

http://www.cartlionel.co.uk

Sad and geeky, why didn’t I think of doing this before?

Oh and I’ve tidied up some of my post tags, they were getting messy and I don’t like messy.

Just another morning in Caroline’s house then? It’s a good thing I’m easily amused...

So what delights have I been up to today?

Nothing, nothing at all.

I got up about 11am, sat around in my pyjamas until I was told to “Go have a shower or you won’t get any dinner!”

And since then, I’ve sat here.

Doing nothing.

I played The Simpsons Hit & Run which is amusing until you discover you’re not very good at it. Can’t get past the Bart part. Have to race Comic Book Guy and suddenly you realise that your driving in Springfield sucks.

So turned to Trackmania Sunrise. At least I know that I’m rubbish at that. But it got boring.

I was also listening to the commentary for the Villa-Newcastle game where they decided to inform the world that Mellberg has had a shave and ta-da! has no facial hair and looks 16!

He probably read my blog.

Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be any clear pics of him from todays game, yet. So I won’t bore you with that. (Awww). However, while searching for a picture, I came across another of him.

Holding a baby girl.

The article it was from was in Swedish. I only know one swedish word and it wasn't in that article so.. he’s attached then.

Pants.

Oh well, he’s still fit, in fact. The naming him ban has been lifted!

Ah sod it, I’ll do a “ViEiRA”
Here's a pic for the sake of it.

I’ve had to keep out of the way today as Blokey has been here since Friday, and as I’ve spent most of that time not at home, I didn’t realise that him and my mum are having disagreements left, right and centre.

All over a holiday. Or, lack of a holiday I should say.

Blokey is very scrooge-like and refuses to go over £250 as payment for the holiday, and I mean. If it will cost only another 20quid, he’s not interested.

This is someone who probably earns £250 a day!

My mum was not happy.

They spent all Friday and Saturday night on the internet, looking at all the holiday sites, but he poopoo’d every destination for one reason or another.

During the day, they went around all the travel agents and, according to my mum – and I’ve seen him act this way myself – He really laid into the poor staff by being a demanding bossy, uncaring bastard.

I’m glad I wasn’t with them, I have no time for that. I’d just say “Look here! You’re going to the South of France and you’re damn well going to enjoy it! OK?”

But I was too busy jumping on football shirts.

Today, they’ve been bickering, and later on having a heated argument discussion in the living room.

I’ve just sat here wishing I wasn’t really...

In the end, he went home a day early, although they've been on the phone to each other since about 9pm repeating everything that was probably already said today anyway.. *sigh*

We went back to the woods today. Guess what no one had stolen? Sheva shirt was still hanging amongst the brambles. Woo!

Unfortunately, zero damage had bestowed itself so we still had the problem of a very clean and fresh shirt.

How hard is it to semi destroy something?!

So, we laid it down in the mud.

And jumped on it.

Then, feeling very daring, and we hadn't even started drinking yet! We dragged the shirt home, through all the dirt, grass, leaves, gutters..

Did we pass one single person? No

We probably would've been sent to a mental asylum anyway.

Now the shirt is spending the night in the compost bin.:D

Friday:
Sevilla won that Super Cup thingy, The guy who scored the penalty, Enzo Maresca was very very fit and I thank him for removing his shirt. Can't find a pic at the moment (Oh, how terrible! You all say.)

EDIT: Thanks mymah!

I'm still obsessed with that Villa defender. He will now be known as Bastard. Unable to discover if he’s married. Villa play Newcastle on Sunday, I hope Newcastle spend a lot of time in front of goal. More Bastard to view! Damnit!

Jenni and I sang “Sheva was a friend of mine” while eating cheese on toast.

Blokey is buying a crap PC and asked for my opinion and then got all defensive when I said it was rubbish! Why ask??

I've lent Becky my Henry shirt (She's a Villa supporter!) until it actually fits me.

I’ve had to leave negative feedback for a buyer. Except, they didn’t buy anything. Hence the neg. People like that should be hung!

Saturday:
We walked about six miles to a pub that would show us the Arsenal game. That was a waste of exercise. We lost. We can’t shoot. Actually, I am determined to attempt to watch football matches this season, even if I am seeing yellow and blue dots bobbing around a pitch chasing an invisible ball.

Karl’s got it spot on, Make a human size ball and give the players double human size padding. Preferably semi-transparent padding.

I ate garlic bread. I am a bad person.

Still obsessed with Bastard, I lost a bet and now have to pay the consequences, or pay worse consequences tomorrow. My mind hates me.

I tried to counter-act the thinking of Bastard by thinking of Freddie. It wasn’t that successful.

Jenni fell asleep at about 10pm. Bless her.

It was one of those days.

No, I’m not posting about a scamming pyramid scheme!

A while back, my sister came over clutching a green box to her chest. “Can you put some music on this for me?” She asked,

It was only a brand new iPod Shuffle!

At this point in my life, I didn’t even own an mp3 player so I was a bit pissed off.

Especially as she didn’t pay a penny for it! It was a prize at work for being “employee of the month!”

I asked if I could have it, but she said "no!". Hmmph.

Being a good sister, I put some songs on it. What I should’ve done is gave it a dashing of cheese, Adding Bob the Builder and Westlife. I didn’t think of that at the time

So she happily took away her posh new gadget and it wasn’t mentioned again until about 6 months later.

“I need some new songs on here!”

Now, if it were me, I would change the songs more often, This was a definite clue that the iPod was being under-used.

During those six months, My friend had bought me an mp3 player, It wasn’t a “9000gig iPod” (His words not mine!) but it was neat, So I was happy with it. And I didn’t really consider the Shuffle much of an upgrade so I ceased being the “iPod demanding little sister.”

Now, my mum recently signed up for a job-search website as she is looking for a new job half-way up the country. A couple of weeks ago, she received a phone call from them to tell her she had won a promotional prize for being a member.

Guess what it was?

That’s right, an iPod.

As some of you may know, I bought myself a better player a couple of months ago, Not a 9000gig iPod mind, but a 6gig player with a radio and stuff. Very classy piece of kit! I gave my old one to my mum. Who hasn’t used it, mind.

So since my mum has won this thing, Me and my sister have been thinking up reasons why one of us should have it. My sister thought that she should have it because her under-used player is “rubbish” and she can’t afford a new one and Caroline shouldn’t have it because she already has a nice one.

My argument is that I’m her favourite daughter who doesn’t cause her so much grief and deserve a gift. And then I can sell my player and we all benefit from having an mp3 player we didn’t pay for.

Neither of us thought that my mum might actually want to keep it!

Then Blokey said, Actually, you know. I quite fancy an mp3 player.

My mum was ready to toss a coin or something!

Luckily it came today. It’s an iPod nano 1gb model. Cute but not worth fighting over.

She’s going to sell it on eBay.

We’ve decided to subject the shirt to numerous dangers and then send it to Sheva at Stamford Bridge.

First: Feeding time.
The shirt was scrunched up in a ball and covered in bread on Jenni’s bird table. We then sat in her living room watching all the birds land on her bird table.

Not one landed on the shirt. As her mum objected to an overnight birdtable stay, we reluctantly removed it after an hour or two.

We may put it on the roof of the birdtable tomorrow as the birds seemed to find that a good spot to hang out.

Second: Alone in the woods.
We decided to bury the shirt in the woods for the night. Her mum, spoilsport, said it probably wasn’t a good idea to dig holes in the woods so instead we took a walk there and just gave it a huge throw into the brambles. If no one else discovers it before tomorrow, we’ll retrieve it.

Tea Lover gave me the idea to look this up and here it is, My favourite TV Ad ever, mm.. chocolate...

I woke up with a start this morning, I suddenly remembered that I still possessed this!

Need to destroy it, but how?

I was allowed to watch the Arsenal game tonight without too much fuss, and surprisingly, my mum seemed quite interested in it, although she didn’t actually watch. So, armed with some leftover (6) Liquorice Allsorts (Don’t slap me), I settled on my beanbag to watch the game.

The first few minutes were pretty scary, our defence seemed to like kicking the ball within inches of Dinamo’s advancing strikers. Luckily that stopped after we were 1:0 down. Well, I did let Zvone have one goal so that was OK. Just no more!

Van Persie was amazing, He amazes me a little bit more every time I see him play.

So we managed to not do anything too stupid for the rest of the game, i.e. concede goals, we just couldn’t actually score any either.

Then disaster struck. The picture went funny, and then nothing. No picture, no sound.

So there I was, frantically channel hopping to make sure that our TV didn’t just die. Thankfully not, but on the other hand, I was missing football! The entire country was missing football! NOOO! Nice ITV (!) apologised and then the picture came back, but still no sound, and no score in the corner. What did we miss??

Oh, we only missed a goal.

An Arsenal goal

Scored by Freddie.

The one in the captain’s armband...........

For fuck’s sake!

That’s it, just take away the highlight of my week, I don’t care.

Oh well, they showed the replay eventually, but it’s not the same is it?

And we could go a little easier on whoever broke it as Freddie talked afterwards. Tra la la la...

Oh and Chelsea lost. That’s enough to cheer anyone up, unless you’re a Chelsea fan of course. If so. Haha! Go away. You’re not welcome here!

Aah maturity...

Don’t you just love it when you do something on a bus that you’re not meant to? Like snort with laughter, for example. I did that today, thanks to an SMS from Jenni. For the rest of the journey, people kept looking at me oddly, which set me off again, The SMS wasn’t even that funny! But I couldn’t wait to get off that bus! Bah...

The bus goes down the road where I used to live and while I was staring out of the window, it suddenly occurred to me that pretty much every other house along the road has had an extension since we moved. Luckily our house hasn’t been too drastically remodelled, but I am sure it will join the club sooner or later.

Anyway, the final destination was the Jobcentre and today the ball really got a rolling in the job searching. A meeting was arranged with a woman from WorkBridge which is an organization that helps people with disabilities find work. I’ve met this woman before and am not entirely sure if I made a good impression with her or not. I got the feeling that she thought I was slightly childish, which I’m not. (Well not in those situations, anyway!) I’ll make sure I’m all prepared and organised for that, (It’s in 2 weeks) just in case she wants to play practise interview or something.

I was supposed to meet Margaret at the Jobcentre as we sign on at the same time, but, can you believe it!? She got a job! Honestly, I am so pleased for her! She’s so lucky! She’ll be working at, you’ll never guess. She’ll be working at Training! It better not be some really easy job that I can do, or I’ll be getting my claws out!

I've also found a job that I'll be applying for tomorrow. It's a miracle...

So, Arsenal are playing tonight, should be an easy game, I highly doubt Dinamo will beat us 4:0. Zvone thinks otherwise, but what does he know? I told him, Dinamo can score one good goal against us but that's all!

It’s raining here:
ME: I hope it’s raining in London.
MUM: Why’s that?
ME: Because, then all the footballers will be drenched!
MUM: That’s disgusting!

Maybe she’ll watch with me?

I doubt it.

While watching the Liverpool game tonight, Me and Jenni's family each compiled a nice completed season league table. Here's mine, Jenni will surely post hers when she's next online.

Arsenal
Portsmouth
Aston Villa
Man City
Charlton
Newcastle
West Ham
Watford
Everton
Fulham
Wigan
Middlesbrough
Reading
Sheff Utd
Blackburn
Liverpool
Bolton
Chelsea
Tottenham
Man Utd

If that happened... ooh.. Excitement!

Now, It's REALLY bedtime!

I bet I lost at least six quid in postage today. Now they’ve bought out these stupid new postal prices, A CD now costs £1.09 rather than 47p or whatever it was. Oh and I was served by the slow woman who took.... 20 MINUTES to do 7 parcels.. aah I was soo annoyed as thought I was going to miss the bus to Jenni’s.

I purchased a new paper shredder today. It actually shreds stuff.

I was accused of being an ‘Indian Giver’, and spent the rest of the day trying to find out what the hell it means. Jenni didn’t know, her sister didn’t know and the accuser just told me to “Look it up, you lazy sod!” Such polite SMS messages I receive.

Apparently it means that I give someone a present and then ask for it back. I didn’t. I just informed the recipient of a present that I wasn’t able to send it yet. Honestly.. You be nice to someone (who is usually mean to you anyway) and that’s the thanks you get. Well that’s OK, I don’t like you either, Ploppikins

There was a cute guy (yank speak according to Ploppikins) on the bus today, He looked like Michael Ballack. But nicer. And not scummy. It was an amazing sight to see as such creatures are a rare breed where I live. But he must've been lost. I mean, he had an accent and was fit. I said that didn't I..

A new cure for hiccups was discovered. Always a useful thing to know as I get hiccups at least 3 times a week! Stick a spoon on the back of you neck. Works for me!

This trick was discovered while playing simulated sex games with spoons (yes, we were bored) PoK came along (a knife) and spoiled the moment between spoon Me and spoon Freddie. *sigh*

A new suspect in the Sheva kidnapping whistle blowing bastard case is Shaun Wright Phillips. We also may have discovered how our guards became so drowsy, The Tango in Jenni’s kitchen tastes suspiciously unTango like. Maybe it’s been tampered with?

Some legal shenanigans went on in our garden (communal grass) but more about that some other time when I actually understand it, It’s a bit spaghetti like.

A bit like Jenni’s commentary to the Liverpool game today, trying to teach me the politics of Israel while there was a green number 19 who was very fit running around the pitch. Not the best time dear.

There never is a best time, I know. Lalala Spaghetti.

It’s a Swedish word you know.

Yes, that Swedish guy is still in my head. Go Away, Mellberg! You’re not welcome! We’re only 55% compatible!

I got 97% with Aaron Carter. Why??? He’s only like.. 12!

And that’s my day, bizarre as usual. I have to go to bed soon. Tomorrow is an early rising day.

Yuckity.

5 Things You Wish You'd Never Done
1 Written lovey emails to this guy I used to like.
2 Let some eBay seller get away with sending us a shoddy excuse for a trouser suit and then telling us "well what do you expect on eBay!" When we complained.
3 Gone to Uni/or left Uni/or stayed at college another year/Yeah I messed up probably woo!
4 Discovered I like eating lots.
5 4 is enough!

5 People You Have/Had A Crush On
1 Henrik, from a camp I went to.
2 Stein Erik, from a camp I went to. (Yes it was a fun camp!)
3 Owen from primary school.
4 The barman at a pub we used to go to.
5 A long list of football players etc...

5 Places You've Had Sex Kissed Someone (Changed cos N/A atm)
1 Outside Highbury
2 On the back seat of a coach
3 In the Cinema while watching Scooby Doo.
4 Crouched behind a car in a London back-alley
5 Back of the car while my mum was driving (I SAW THAT!)

5 Songs You're Embarrassed To Admit You Own/Like
1 Most of my mp3 collection is embarrassing as I have no idea what will play next.
2 That Bratz, Rock Angels tune.
3 James Blunt. He's not bad.
4 Enrique - shouldn't have got rid of that mole!
5 Will Young, Very talented.

5 Fantasies (can be sexual or non-sexual)
1 Sharing a pic n' mix with Freddie.
2 Wishing my two realities would swap places. Just for a while!
3 That I’ll wake up thinner one day. Or, they'll invent artificial tastes so a carrot can taste like chocolate.. yeah...
4 Drying off Paolo Maldini after a torrential downpour in Milan.
5 Someone giving me 15grand to pay off my student loan.

The real Arsenal played like the Pro Evo Arsenal in my league at the moment, i.e. they don’t shoot much. I know, I know, I should’ve posted this yesterday, but I was very busy being a tidy upper and anyway, my mind was somewhere else. It was in constant thought of a certain Swedish footballer.

No... Not that one.

The one at Villa.

Before you ask, No. The thoughts were not about torturing or kidnapping him. In fact, I don’t know what they were about at all. It was just “OOH MELLBERG! You’re so annoying but why do I like you?”

I mean, we could look at the pros and cons here; except I can’t think of any pros. Cons are quite huge, He doesn’t like Freddie, Freddie doesn’t like him, He scored against us on Saturday, He’s in dire need of a shave...

Maybe he’ll bugger off to Chelsea or ManUre or Spurs this week? That will be a 200% turn off and life can resume normally.

I can live in hope!

Oh! Here’s a pro: He has a nice accent. Woo!

Going to go shove a hosepipe into my ear and wash out these really bad thoughts...

My mum hasn’t been here since Wednesday night, she had a job interview up in Leicester so, when she’s away (lots lately!) I have to play housekeeper.

Except she’s due home in 5 hours and I haven’t done anything.

Her laptop is slow. Although I’ve told her that it’s slow cos it’s about 6 years old and she needs a new one, she asked me to reformat it. I’ve done that, but I haven’t loaded anything onto it yet, like MSN or Office. (that’s all she needs really... Boring...)  I just went to the Linksys site to get the driver for her wireless card.  There’s about 5 million different models. Great.  No internet for her then.

I should also:

• Clean the bathroom. - The sink has changed colour
• Go to the shop for drink and yesterday’s paper. - I'm thirsty and need a job.
• Thoroughly dust and hoover my room. - Apparently, One can write their name in the dust!
• Lightly dust and hoover the other rooms. - They were probably done more recently, ie Tuesday.
• Load the whites into the washing machine. - I'd like to wear underwear tomorrow.
• Wrap up more eBay parcels. - Don't like negative feedback.
• Water all the plants. - Hopefully it'll rain so God can do that job for me. Bless.
• Take the rubbish out. - Um, cos otherwise it'll be hanging around for another 2 weeks!

All I’ve done so far today is woke up, showered, got dressed, did last night’s dishes, Opened yesterdays post, read blogs, played Boxikon and spoke to my sister on the phone.

Oh and I spent ages looking for a potato, found one eventually and cooked it. I’m planning to mash it although I think it’s one of those ones you’re not supposed to mash.  I also have no idea what to have with the potato….

I’m rubbish at living alone!