I’m sorry I haven’t been here much the last couple days but I’ve been very busy. Yesterday, I got married. Today I had a baby girl!

I’ve been dating Gabriel Stewart for quite a while now. We met shortly after he moved to Lanesra. We were just friends at first but you know what a bit of drink does to you! Things moved pretty quickly and soon we were totally in love. One day, I discovered I was pregnant but Gabriel was great about it!

Anyway, He invited me around to dinner the other night and over our plates of spaghetti, he handed me a box and popped the question. It was so romantic!

So yesterday was our special day. We chose to marry in Gabriel’s garden with just a few of our closest friends to witness the event, Jenni, Patrick, Emmanuel, Melissa, Ivy, Joe and Komei. We had a dance followed by some lovely food, and then it was the moment I’ve been waiting for. We stood under the wedding arch and exchanged our vows. It was perfect. A Good Time was has by everyone. I ran around to hug everyone before we were whisked away to enjoy our first night as man and wife. (except I preferred to clean up rather than get into the limo!)

Gabriel had taken time off work so he’d be around when the baby arrived. It happened as he was serving dinner earlier today. It was quite painful but nothing could’ve prepared me for the joy that little Alexia made me feel.

Isn’t she adorable??

:D

My firewall is now working properly. Thanks Agnitum for the speedy response to my query .

If I had more communicative friends, I could be in Norway, possibly having a hot weekend fling with- yeah like I’d tell you!

I’ve now got a shiny new iRiver H10 mp3 player. It’s REALLY nice. I had a bit of a problem using it with Winamp. Winamp decided to crash and destroy all the songs I’d just put on it but a quick Google search found me Media Monkey which looks pretty neat so far. Except it’s told me bluntly that my mp3 collection is a big fat mess! Back to my shiny new toy, I’m having a slight problem filling up all 6gigs as I only like songs I REALLY like in my ears. Fussy me, especially as I was thinking of spending an extra £20 on the 20gig model

Most of the week has been spent watching football, Croatia are out and I’m very disappointed about that. They don’t deserve to be. Sweden are out and I’m very disappointed about that too. Holland are out so my prediction chart is now up the creek. In between the games, we’ve been playing football. Something I haven’t done much before. Jenni can do all this fancy stuff, Karl can do even fancier stuff.. I am just about getting the hang of kicking the ball accurately. My idea of tackling is grabbing the opponent around the waist and attempting to throw them to the ground. The only good thing so far is that it is fun and I appear to be two-footed!

I’ve sold a lot of CDs on eBay only to discover that the winner of most of them was my good friend, Ploppykins. No money made there then!

Friday was spent tidying my room as I had cobwebs and a lot of dust and other nasties. Decided to buy a posh paper shredder as fed up with the crap one I have now. Haven’t acted on it yet though.

Need to decide by Friday whether to renew my web hosting account or not. Or move somewhere else? It’s only function at present is email and a photo-stasher.

Here are some comments my mum had to say regarding the England-Ecuador game: “Are we the White shirted players? What a stupid colour to play football in!” “I don’t like Beckham’s hair like that.” “I’m surprised the players can concentrate with that racket going on!” Bless her.

I have this coming week off. Yipeee! Dave told me last week that he finishes this Friday coming which is mean as he started the same day as me. He better be wrong or I will throw a wobbler!

From AJ. Someone has to do it while Ros is away

READ THE RULES FIRST!

Right, if you're going to do this, before you read my answers write down a numbered list of 20 people you know then do the questions!

1. Jess
2. Jenni
3. Zvone
4. Plop
5. James
6. Ranveig
7. KJ
8. Sheila
9. AJ
10. Ros
11. Ray
12. Becky
13. Carina
14. Margaret
15. Gary
16. Jeanne
17. Sarah
18. Henrik
19. Nick
20. Emmy

1. How did you meet 14?
At training, She was stuck on file management and I was nice enough to help.

2. What would you do if you'd never met number 1?
It would be slightly difficult considering she's my older sister!

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
It'll be quite interesting considering 20 is a cute Swedish girl.

4. Did you ever like 19?
I try my best but he's awfully mean to me.

5. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
Nope. It'll be like chalk and cheese. Only one of them would enjoy the lesbianism involved!

6. Describe 3
The nicest guy you could meet. If you date him, he says Hospitalization on demand. What more could you want?

7. Do you think 8 is attractive?
Haven't seen her for 4 years but yes she's very pretty. Lucky cow.

8. Tell me something about 7
She is getting married soon.

9. Do you know any of 12s family?
Yep. I practically live at her house.

10. What's 8s favourite song?
These days, No idea. But at school she loved Damage and N'Sync.

11. What would you do if 18 confessed they had feelings for you?
Jump up and down in excitement. More so if I were still 17-18.

12. Who is 9 going out with?
No one, I believe

13. How old is 16 now?
I don't dare answer.

14. When was the last time you spoke to 13?
This morning.

15. What language does 15 speak?
He invented Cartlionel so I'm not entirely sure..

16. What's 2s favourite band/singer?
Anti-Flag, Offspring, The Killers,

17. Would you ever date 4?
We've not officially met but from what I know, Yes. He's lovely. (Most of the time)

18. Would you ever date 7?
No but our mobile phones did. They had sex on her kitchen table!

19. Is 15 single?
Yes.

20. What's 10s last name?
No idea.

21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
Er no, that would be the worst decision ever.

22. What school did 3 go to?
One I can't pronounce.

23. Where does 6 live?
Norway.

24. What's your favourite thing about 5?
He's kept in touch and likes Arsenal.

Today was Jenni’s BBQ. I arrived at a ridiculously early 11:30am as I was on my way to Southampton to meet a friend of mine when she sms-ed me to cancel. All she’d written was “BUSY NOT AVAILABLE”. So polite! The bus was near Jenni’s house so I hung around there until my mum came to fetch me. Jenni was still in bed the lazy so-and-so!

The L Person came around to cut my mum’s hair but she didn’t have time to cut mine today. She asked how my “other family” were as last time she was here I was playing with Emmanuel Petit’s Sim family, (He had a wife called Amber, Triplets: Adrian, Luke and Zoe plus an adopted child called Brittany.) Sadly they no longer exist.

I went around Jenni’s later, in time for the CRAP GER-SWE game. Freddie is fit but now he’s on his way home! The World Cup sucks. It’s only made bearable by living room spirit. The songs that come out of our mouths are really something else. Becky was urging Sweden on with a song about Carrots, Turnips and god knows what else!

After the game we played pass the ball in the garden and then settled down to eat sausages, burgers, salad, pasta, crisps and choccie cake! No M&Ms today although Freddie got to stand next to strawberries for most of the evening. We decided against him being in with the strawberries as he’d get all sticky!

A great start to the ARG-MEX game. Argentina really are the most dull team on the planet. Mexico, however, are mmmm…. I’d not really concentrated on their team until today. I had my first date with both Rafael Marquez (yum!) and Jose Fonseca.

Have no idea if there’ll be more dates, especially as Marquez plays in Barcelona! I need more pics! Zvonnie??

For some odd reason, we were all singing The Sound Of Music songs during extra time and Peter Crouch got up close and personal with Jenni’s mum. Jenni’s mum also admitted she was running away to Portugal with Rob Lee next week!

I was meant to meet my friend today but she cancelled at VERY short notice! GRRR! So I have a few extra hours to drool over these pics sent by Zvone.

I got a lovely letter from my bank today. All their customers have a free licence to an antivirus product that isn’t Norton-ized! As I am currently between Antivirus programs, I was pretty pleased. Unfortunately, I also decided today would a good time to play “Find a new firewall!”

I swear, I’ve tried them all, I was happy enough to purchase a licence to a not so well known but very good product in 2004 and was happy enough to do a 2 year renewal in 2005. However, when the new version was released later in the year, it just wasn’t as good. My PC took ages to shut down, and ages to start up and there was a plethora of other niggles so I dumped it and installed the free version of Kerio.

Today, I decided to go back to the working version of the firewall I am licensed to use, only to find that, actually, I’m not. It’s expired. My maths isn’t the best but surely if I paid for a 2 year licence in 2005, it should still be valid? I’ll write to them tomorrow to moan. If they’re mean to me, I’ll name and shame

Do sljedeceg puta

There is some possible good news about my beloved Panda Bears. I would’ve appreciated this more if I were still 10 years old, mind but hey, it means there is a higher possibility (0.0000002% rather than 0.0000001%) that I will see a real one before I die.

The bus ride home today was really embarrassing. There was a girl on the bus who said hello to me, I said hello back and got a quick look at her before I sat down in front of her. She didn’t say anything else and I saw enough to hazard a guess as to who it could be. I don’t know if I’m right but I really really hope it wasn’t someone I was hoping never to see in my life, ever again.

I really hope it wasn’t Michelle, AKA Machine! Yes Jenni, remember her? Your darling, Spurs-supporting obsession’s girlfriend? I spent many a French class listening into her conversations with other students ready to report back with any news on Mr. Scum. Such a sad life..

The crazy French bloke appeared on MSN earlier. He was one of the first people I ever chatted to back in the days… But he disappeared for a few years and came back in April to say hello. Tonight he’d popped up again, trying to convince me he doesn’t speak English.. Silly guy! His favourite teams in the World Cup? Spain and Argentina, Last time I asked him about the club he supported, He said Manchester United. Interesting, very interesting.. I’ll ask him what he thinks of Chelsea next time I see him

Now I’m busy compiling my game list and I just spent too long listing jeans on eBay. I watched bits of the Spain game, Cesc was brilliant! Although a Tunisia win would’ve been more interesting. Soon it’s bedtime, and another dull training day ahead. Today I was given another IBT assignment to do which was literally identical to the one I did the other day except it was for Court Cases rather than a Dental Surgery. Oh well.. only another 4 weeks and I’ll be finished!!!

Happy Father’s Day, Mum! X

My mum bought horrible news home this weekend. Apparently Royal Mail are introducing a new price structure where, not only is the weight of the mail you send taken into consideration, but so is the size. I don’t know if this is old news, but, it’s news to me. I fear a nice hefty rise to all my postal charges come the end of August.

Turns out, 2 of my friends who don’t even know each other were at the Foo Fighters gig yesterday in London-land. I spent a few minutes trying to get them to meet up (Thank you modern technology!) But it didn’t happen! Come on! There was was only 75,000 people there, how hard could it be?!?

Last night Mum and Blokey went through my cupboard searching for the Who Wants to be a Millionaire game to play on the laptop. It made me notice that I still haven’t got around to taking control of my ever-expanding games collection. It took them about 10 minutes to find it! Then they played it non-stop for about 4 hours. It was so boring.. I have sat here for most of today trying out games that I didn’t even know I had, So, tomorrow I will be compiling a list! I have also discovered how thrilling it is to have Bubble Puzzle or whatever it’s called on my phone. Thank You Jenni! Grr.

France didn’t play with a lot of passion today. They could’ve easily put that match to bed before half time. But thanks to Thierry Henry’s vestless shirt swap at full time, I didn’t really mind! I was probably the only person in the country who hoped for a Brazil win earlier, not because I like them, mind, but it helps Croatia’s hopes for qualification. The Japanese goalkeeper was brilliant. I was so annoyed!

I’ve just ordered a new mp3 player off Amazon as well as a new vacuum cleaner for Mum. Hope they send it soon! (The mp3 player, not the hoover!) Also ordered a couple of games, obviously.

Back to training tomorrow, I don’t think I can get away with still “being ill”. Who else would do their shredding for them, anyway? Maybe my latest bout of sunburn will take it’s toil on me? Let’s hope so!

A dear friend sent me this, Was she trying to tell me something?

How many football matches have you seen that has crammed so much drama into itself? 3 red cards, 3 yellow cards, an own goal, a disallowed goal, blood and not to mention the poor Perrotta who spent the last 20 minutes hobbling around the pitch. All it needed was an injury time goal and it would’ve had everything!

The earlier game between Ghana and the Czech Republic was great. Not because of what was expected; another class performance from the Czechs but because Ghana pushed and pushed for their deserved win. The Czechs just didn’t have the magic or flair that entertained us five days ago. Being a fool, I missed the first goal as I hadn’t quite settled down to watch yet. I also had to fight for my place in front of the T.V. and had to watch Italy-USA on the portable!

Now I’m just watching the end of ELO live at Wembley from 1978 which is really cool. Then I will be uninstalling Fifa and replacing it with Pro Evo as I’m just… fed up with FIFA!!

The world cup only started a week ago but already I’ve screamed and sulked at the TV more times than I can remember.

It started last Saturday when I was hoping for a draw in England v Paraguay. We didn’t get it but I met Carlos Paredes (AKA Batistuta II) so I wasn’t too annoyed.

Then, later on, I was desperate for a Sweden win. I didn’t get that either. Freddie looked so upset, and to top it off, the camera moved just as he was about to shirt-swap with some Trinidad & Tobago player!

Argentina are boring now without Bati but the final match of the night was ruined by just how boring they really are. I hope they lose their other games!!

I didn’t mind who won the Italy-Ghana game. What I do mind however is that players should not be allowed to wear vests under their shirts! Maybe Fifa will enforce this rule at the next World Cup?

On Tuesday was France vs Switzerland. If it wasn’t for France, I probably wouldn’t have discovered the joys of football so I have a soft spot for them. Their performance was disappointing which made me disappointed.

A lot of preparation was put into the Croatia game. I made Jenni’s entire family wear various Croatia shirts, wrapped myself in the flag and should’ve had my Boban Corinthian with me, but forgot it. Brazil didn’t play at all well and Croatia should’ve really won. That was my biggest World Cup sulk so far. Plus side was meeting Niko Kovac, albeit briefly.

I saw dribs and drabs of the Spain-Ukraine game on Wednesday, and I realised I definitely can’t hate Shevchenko. It’s physically impossible! Jenni is pretty disgusted with me but, there’s something about him..

Today I went to Jenni’s and we watched the stupid England game. Another draw would’ve been nice but as no match has gone the way I wanted it to so far, it was quite a lot to ask. Jenni made a lovely cheese-pasta dinner and we had more M&Ms, this time with Freddie as the centrepiece.

So, next up was the Sweden-Paraguay game. The first 88 minutes were BLOODY ANNOYING! Freddie played really well but I had pretty much resigned myself to it being a draw. 2 minutes later I was lying on the floor in a deliriously happy state. Not only did Sweden score a late goal (Why do WC games nearly always have late goals?!?) But FREDDIE SCORED IT! FREDDIE SCORED IT! All the disappointment from the other games I gave two hoots about are forgotten. That treat makes up for France’s rubbish performance and Brazil being “Glupi”

Now I can spend a couple of days floating on a fluffy pink cloud that I’ve stolen borrowed off my friend, KJ

A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday." His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."

So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and finds his mother.
"Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday".

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go talk to your father."

Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says:
"No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home.

The father turns to his son and says;
"Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you German B*stards"

To get into the spirit of the imminent supporting of Croatia, here are a few phrases you will find useful.

Essentials
Bok - Hello/Goodbye
Kako Si? - How Are You?
Dobro - Good
Dobro Sam - I Am Fine
Da – Yes
Ne – No
Molim – Please
Hvala – Thank You
Naravno – Of Course

During the Match
Ajmo Hrvatska! – Go Croatia!
Gol - Goal
Suti – Shut up (towards commentators)
Nemoj! – Don’t! (towards Brazil)
Glupi Brazil – Stupid Brazil
Koji Je Rezultat? – What’s The Score?

After the match (towards the cute players)
Poljubac – Kiss
Poljubi Me – Kiss Me
Poljubi Me u Usta/Ruka/Nos/Kosa – Kiss my Mouth/Hand/Nose/Hair
Ajmo Se Jebati – Let’s ****
Volim Te – I Love You
Dragi/Draga – Darling

Isn’t it great that real life is not a Fifa game.

In the good ‘ole days of Fifa 98, I used to play Arsenal vs Arsenal which was great fun because if I lost (yeah right!) It was still good.

Today I watched dribs and drabs of the U.S.A. game and I was just thinking, Thank God the USA cannot play the USA as that would be the most uninteresting game in the history of football! Luckily they were playing the Czech Republic who played a class game.

I was inspired to install Fifa 06 which I haven’t really played. (Actually, I haven’t played Fifa properly since 2003!) Me and Zvone used to play it all the time. I always won and it became a bit of a joke.

Me: “How much will I win by, Sweetie?”
Zvone “Oh! It will be 6-1 to you, because you will let me have the one goal, right??”

Jenni never played Fifa as she believes she is rubbish at games where reflexes are more important than the mind. She’s right, I finally managed to convince her to play with me in the early hours of the morning of New Year 04-05. I had just finished thrashing Zvone and was eager to thrash Jenni too. I did. What happened after was more amusing though.

Zvone had gone into the living room where we had lit candles earlier in the evening. He was half-asleep on the sofa, failing to realise that one of the candles had in-fact grown significantly and was causing a small fire on the table. It took a few beer glasses of water to put it out. It made me realise that smoke alarms actually work.

Back on topic: Fifa 06 is the ugliest game ever. The players act as if they are in a bubble and cannot even bend their arms properly. However, it works with my new gamepad! It threw a fit with my old one. So far I’ve played, Arsenal vs Bournemouth (3-1) Sweden vs River Plate (0-0) and Milan vs Reggina (mmm naughty Paredes) (3-0).

Now I’m going to play BRA-CRO (controlling Croatia, obviously) to predict an (unrealistic) score for tomorrow night’s game that I will definitely be watching. Everyone, please go to Tesco and buy the Croatian bagged cookies for good-luck!

Ah, 6 hours of football viewing pleasure.

But I am not going to blog about it too much, as everyone else is and I don’t want to make it too obvious how little I care for England!

So, all I will say is this: One of the Paraguay players is REALLY beautiful. The cameramen at the Sweden Game were IDIOTIC! and Argentina are the most boring team ever without Batistuta.

Instead I will tell you the incredibly geeky story of my mobile phone. As you do.

Last year I won some money at Bingo and decided it would be fun to buy an N-Gage QD off eBay. If you don’t know, it’s a Nokia mobile/gaming deck that is a phone but actually looks like a handheld console. It is nice except it is embarrassing to get out in public!

It didn’t help that I took it to the Craphone Warehouse (spelling error was intentional) to get a firmware upgrade and not only did it take them 3 days to tell me they couldn’t do it, when I got the phone back, It had a huge scratch down the screen. Not impressed!

So, one day, a few months later, I took a trip to Winchester and passed a Nokia shop. I took the phone in and the guy was very nice and did the upgrade in 20 minutes and charged me 3 times less than what the stupid phone scratching corporation were going to!

Me and N-Gage have since had a few ups and downs. Scratch has bred and now there are lots of them and I soon got sick and tired of it’s “un-phoney” look.

In March, I started to ask my sister if I could adopt her old phone, a Nokia 6600. She wasn’t so keen at first, but I eventually talked her round and she eventually remembered to bring it to me on Tuesday this week. One problem, I recently switched from Orange to o2, (Orange are almost as crap as the Craphone Warehouse!) Her phone was locked to Orange and rejected my sim card.

I decided to have a go at DIY phone unlocking. I managed to make it accept my sim for about 5 seconds before the phone would switch itself off. 30 minutes of solid Googling did not yield any useful fixings, so I admitted defeat and took it to the dodgy market man.

There are 2 dodgy market stalls in town who do phone unlocking. At the first one, the guy was not really interested in my problem so he lost out on my tenner, but the second guy was extremely helpful and said he got 50% of his sales from people mucking up unlocking their phone (although my problem was new to him!) Thanks to his patience, I now have a nice newish phone that works!

Since then, (Thursday), I have been trying to transfer my contacts and my SMSes from N-Gage to 6600. It’s not easy! I have transferred the messages but my contacts seem to like where they are and don’t want to be moved. It seems I have to transfer them One. At. A. Time, which is just stupid as there is about 150 of them…!

OK, rant over. The 6600 has a camera which the N-Gage lacks so I’ve enjoyed taking pics of stupid things all day. Here is one.

In my last entry I said how I'd spent the day looking for quiz questions. Here are a few I found. I'll post the answers when I feel like it. In the meantime, feel free to show off your intelligence. No prizes, No cheating.

EDIT: Answers added.

1. In which country is Timbuktu?
Mali
2. Which TV programme began ‘Here is a house, here is a door, Windows One Two Three Four’?
Playschool3. Which European electronics company invented the compact disc?
Philips
4. Which English football club name begins with five consonants?
Crystal Palace
5. What was the first ever feature length cartoon with sound and colour?
Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs
6. Which famous biscuit was originally called Rowntrees chocolate crisp when it was first advertised?
Kit Kat
7. Plumbers derive their name from the latin word for which metal?
Lead
8. What has been the most common surname of players in the World Cup finals?
Gonzalez

OK, I haven’t blogged for 2 days according to statisticness. I’ve been very busy. Well, not really but.. SEE! I told you this blog wouldn’t last long!

Here is a summary of my week at Training.

I haven’t been doing anything productive. Jeanne just keeps giving me things to do that the staff should do themselves but can’t be bothered to. At least the tasks are more interesting than writing out dummy application form number 48.

Tuesday, I was asked to design some fake money for the maths students. I suggested that they count the teacher’s real money but that didn’t go down too well. So I made a set of money that I was actually quite proud of. I printed off £13488 but was refused the equivalent in real cash. In the afternoon I wrote up about my interview, but Jeanne, the ever present “Hole-Picker” exclaimed “YOU’RE NOT YOUNG!” (Still being young is one of my qualities!) I replied with “I’m younger than YOU!) which also didn’t go down to well. I love annoying people

Wednesday, I did a piss-easy IBT assessment. Isn’t IBT meant to be difficult? I wouldn’t know as I’m not doing it but it wasn’t and thankfully they won’t be giving me another one. It was all about creating a customer database and accounts system for some Australian Dental Surgery from 1995 who charged their patients in pounds and for some reason, just reading the words “Scrape & Polish” made me shiver!

At lunchtime there was a new boy in the coffee room who was sat with me but not saying much until I pulled out my N-Gage. He made a “WOW!” comment at which point I realised HE was a SHE. Being a referee is fun. She said she wanted a PSP. I told her I would have a new phone by the end of the week that was actually phone-shaped and didn’t make me look sad. I am the greatest conversation stopper on the planet!

Thursday, I was fortunate enough to spend the day on the Internet looking for quiz questions for some of the students to do on a rainy afternoon. Now, I’ve been there for nearly 6 months and we have NEVER done anything as fun as that so I don’t think that’s fair at all! But I did as I was told cos I knew Jeanne would just say “Oh, well do another dummy application form, then! NO!

Thankfully, I have Fridays off. I’ve been promised something new to do on Monday.

As it was Nana's 82nd birthday last week, me and my sister, Jessica, took her out to dinner tonight. We went to The Dolphin in Hursley which was fun. It has a lovely garden and there were only a handful of people there so it was nice and quiet. The food was served quickly and it wasn’t cold! Guess who had to foot the bill though? Me, of course... We didn't have desert though. My nana can never fit pudding in and for once, neither could I!

We bought her some chocs and a watch and jewellery set which she thought were “Lovely!” And we had a good old natter about all the crap that’s on TV at the moment. Big Brother is rubbish, so is X-Factor, even if it is for charity but E.R. is great and nana thinks Luka Kovac is fit! We teased Jess about her smoking, and I got the hiccups as usual, and no, I didn’t get the tenner that my sister put on the table!

So, all in all, it wasn’t a bad evening, I don’t know why we dread going to see her so much. Nana is cool and we love her

Mr. Boring's Team, What's The Point?

MAIN SQUAD
In Trying To Put A
Little Bit Of Fun
Into An Industry That
Is No Longer About
Enjoying Yourself But
About Making Money
To Satisfy A
Marketplace That Don’t
Know Or Care What A
Great Product Is
Really All About

SUBS
Unfortunately Nowadays
Having Fun Can Mean
Risking All Due To
Ludicrous Copyright
And Censorship Laws

THE REST
Made To Protect Those
Who Have Got Nothing
Better To Do With
Their Time Than
Inadvertently Destroy
Creativity And Slowly
Suck The Feelgood
Factor From Society

This blog entry is not endorsed, not is it intended to imply endorsement, by any individual or organisation, whether incorporated or unincorporated.

Going to car boot sales can be an embarrassing way to spend Sunday morning. There was the time I bought huge Muppet’s back-packs of Animal and Gonzo, praying I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. Or, more commonly, asking the price of something and being told it is about 4 times more than what you are prepared to pay.

Lately, I’ve tended to disregard certain sellers who do certain things or lay their stall out in a certain way. If they lay out their CDs or books with the covers facing upward, they must want a lot of money for them. If their transportation is a van, they must be a dealer. If they avidly stare at you while you’re under their table looking at board games, then I won’t be asking how much they want for Monopoly (not that I would but..). If they have spent ages hanging clothes onto a rail rather than just dump them on a rug, they must be priced more steeply. If it’s nearly packing up time and they still have loads of wicked stuff, the stuff must be expensive. You get the idea.

As a result, I can zip round a car-booty in record time, which annoys Mum and Blokey no end. So, today I decided to actually stop and look at things I would only give a slight turn of the head to before. It didn’t start off too well when I spotted Need for Speed Most Wanted for the PS2 but the woman wanted £15 for it. I only had that much on me! Next I spotted some boxed PC games amongst a load of grubby and ancient computer parts, £2 each. I chose 3 of them, 2 of which I have wanted for a while.

The find of the day came towards the end when I spotted a box of CDs but with the staring man and his son, watching me intently. He said I could have the lot for 10quid or 50p each. Usually, CDs at car boots are mostly, Billie, Steps and the Spice Girls which is daft. They should pay us to take them off their hands not the other way around! This lot was quite decent so I was surprised by the 50p-ness of them, So, I bought the lot to either keep or sell. (Sorry for beating your CD buying record from yesterday, Jenni)

Obviously I was still finished before Mum and Blokey due to their new “rummaging” hobby. At first, mum was embarrassed by it, rummaging through the junk people had just left behind. “AH! what if someone sees me!” She said the first time. Now she’s a pro (with a hat and sunglasses!) Today she has picked up loads of LPs and a sackful of clothes. Lucky her!

If you look to your left, you’ll see an unlinkied 1 JUNE entry. shame on me! I’m slacking already!

But really, yesterday absolutely NOTHING happened.

I was in a defiant mood when I got up (the first time) and decided that as training failed to let me know that I wasn’t wanted there, I wouldn’t let them know that I had decided to take a day off. So I took the day off. I promptly went back to bed and slept until a more reasonable 12:30pm. It has just occurred to me that I haven’t attended once since opening this bloggy thing.

Me and Jenni were planning on going to the pub near my training place tonight. But it was shut for some reason “until further notice.” This is probably due to all the businesses in the area sharing an underground fire escape maze that has caved in? Instead, we wandered down to some other pub where Jenni has previously had great fun setting fire to napkins. In the car, she and her dad were discussing burger buns that have fallen over.

Gary wasn’t joining us so I had to do my “Get Broadband! NOW!” speech all on my lonesome. It didn’t work. I also ranted on about why she shouldn’t buy CDs or go shopping at the iTunes store. It was like a role reversal evening. She is usually the one to go ON and ON and ON about something boring. But tonight, it was me. I’m so happy!

We established that Ray still looks like Lucky the dog, I don’t poo but Shakira does and Tiger Woods does part-time modelling for BHS. There was a menu on a table which kept falling open on the chocolate fudge cake page and it took a lot of willpower not to run up to the bar and ask for some. We had crisps (large bags) instead.

I am now going to write a letter to Shevchenko and inform him he has been removed from my.. ahem… “laminated” list. I’m sure Jenni will tell you about anything else that happened that’s slipped my mind

Re: Customer Services Technician

Thank you for attending a recent interview for the above position. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that you have not been successful on this occasion, as other candidates appear more suited to our requirements.

Your details will be held on our records for 6 months unless you request in writing that this should not be the case.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in "Stupid Company" and wish you every success for the future.

Blah. Jenni and Gary can buy the drinks tonight!